Suprise, Suprise!

The sun is shining in Denver; it has been a beautiful day. Ryan got to go outside again today! Gale, his OT is real impressed as to how “easy” it is for Ryan to maneuver his chair. He almost gave her a heart attack today; he takes corners to fast. What do you expect from a 23 year old boy!!! Dean is about to get certified to take him “out”; he has been working on the “suctioning” and wheel chair management. I will work on it tomorrow and then maybe we can go for a walk without a tech’s help! Just a side note, Ryan has two clocks hanging on the walls on either side of his bed. His cousin Tyler gave him a Broncos clock when we were up in Idaho Falls and we hung it up there so Ryan could tell time while reminiscing about his favorite team. We hung it up here at Craig; when the tech’s take his blood pressure or other procedure which they need a “time measurement” from out of habit they look at that particular spot on the wall, it is funny to sit here and watch the squirrelly faces they make the first time they need to monitor the time for what ever procedure they are doing – it is quite funny. They then give Ryan a hard time or praise the Broncos, depending on which team they like!!! Today while in physical therapy, the therapist was stretching Ryan’s legs and commented on how tight his hamstring is. Actually, she said that most male hamstrings are! Ryan informed her that he had stretched out more here at Craig than he had his whole life time!!! We all laughed. When the respiratory therapist came in this afternoon and “let his cuff down” so he could talk, we were talking about what he remembered about the accident. He recalled that he slipped and hit his head, went down, then giving the nurse at Madison my cell phone number and then waking up at Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center. We asked if he remembered running to the baseline and he said, “I remember racing this kid, I didn’t know him very well.” The nurse here said, well we know you beat him, Ryan answered, “Yeah, I hit the wall first!!!” He chuckled and we all laughed, he then said, “That’s a race I could have lost!” It is good, that he can have a sense of humor thru this; it helps us get thru the “sad” times! When he came back to his room after doing his physical therapy, he had a nice surprise – Meredith was sitting on his bed. He was so shocked, it took a minute to register that she was actually here. He then gave her that infamous smile – from ear to ear!! He smiled for so long that his cheeks hurt! We knew Meredith was coming, but she wanted to surprise him – her surprise was successful! Yesterday when he was having a “sad” time, it was all I could do to not tell him; I knew that if he knew she was on her way it would make him smile!! I guess it’s OK that she makes him smile more than me!!! Ha Ha! Tomorrow, we have a Family Conference with all the doctors and other members of the “Team.” It will be nice to sit in a room and talk about what has been learned thru all of their observations and tests since we have been here at Craig. We will have an opportunity to ask questions and express any concerns that we have. The RT told us that Ryan’s “cuff will be down” so he can talk with the doctors and answer any of their questions. Several times when a doctor or care giver is working with Ryan and asks him a question(s) about how he feels, what hurts, etc., when he mouths a response, they say “I don’t read lips very well” and Dean or I try to translate for them. It will be nice that he can express his feelings or concerns. I hope he will, he is so sensitive to other peoples feelings and hates to feel like he is causing other people any hardship; he just wants everything to be OK. I asked Ryan what he wanted me to say in this post, he said “Just tell everyone THANK YOU very much and I am doing OK. We really appreciate the kind words, expressions of love and support and our faith and prayers on behalf of Ryan. Going into this Family Conference tomorrow, we believe that we have to use the best medical help we can get. We will hear all the medical facts about Ryan, but we continue to have faith and hope that our Heavenly Father will answer the prayers and blessings that have been expressed and conveyed on Ryan’s behalf. Love, Dean, Terry and Ryan

Good to Be Back

It was good to go home for a few days, but it is better to be back in Denver! It was nice to see a lot of family and friends at Lisa’s graduation, work and church. I called Ryan and told him that I had a thousand hugs and kisses from so many of you!!! THANKS. We are so grateful to Scott, Becky, Geralyn and Keith for being able to spend sometime here with Ryan. With him needing 24/7 care, I was able to leave him! Don’t’ get me wrong, the docs, nurses, and tech’s here at Craig are wonderful, but it is so much nicer and gives me great piece of mind to have a family member or friend with him. When I left on Thursday, we came in and told Ryan that we were leaving, I told him that this was going to be the hardest weekend of my life – he said it was going to be his hardest too – I told Dean to go ahead and go!!! He made me get in the car – actually Dean had as hard a time as I did. When we got here last night, about 11:30pm (it is a long way to Denver!); Ryan was really hot and in quite a bit of pain. We “iced” him down and waited until the pain meds took effect. It is so hard to see him in pain. He does really well with all that is going on – until he is in pain. We have a family evaluation on Wednesday, which all the doctors will come together and talk with us about their prognosis, as they see it medically (we continue to pray for miracles) and find out what some of Ryan’s goals are. During the evaluation, I want to visit about the pain Ryan is in and see if there is something else that we can work on – one of the options would be to give me drugs!!!! Oh ya, Ryan won’t let me!! He sat in his chair this morning and a friend, Brittany, from BYU-Idaho and her mother, Nancy, came by to see him. Brittany lives in Pueblo and was home for the weekend – he really enjoyed the visit. He went out on the bridge and watch it rain; he felt pretty good. He hadn’t slept much Sunday night so when he went back to his room, he was worn out and slept most of the afternoon. We got to hear Ryan talk today!! It was really awesome. He sounded really good, I thought his voice would be real raspy – but it wasn’t. He has a hard time beginning a sentence, because there is so much air pressure in his throat. But once he gets started, he has pretty good control. The RT said that it would take some time to learn to “close off his throat” to keep the air going into his lungs when he wasn’t talking??? It sounds so complicated to me; yet so amazing that the body can compensate in so many ways! The RT said some of the problems that can arise with speaking, while on a ventilator, is that all the air can escape out of the throat and nose rather than inflating the lungs and with the air he uses to speak going thru his mouth and nose rather than the ventilator the lungs don’t get the humidity that the ventilator provides – which dries out the lungs – which can cause more secretion and ultimately pneumonia or lung damage. Why is it that there is always a down side???!!! We will take what we can get. He wanted to get back up and sit in his chair – so the tech came in and got him up – but things didn’t go so well, he got real dizzy. The chair reclines so that he can change positions to relieve pressure on his back side, but every time we would try to raise his head he would get dizzy. To help the dizziness, we would raise his leg(s) and gently rub them to help the blood circulate; that then caused spasms in his legs – there is always something to learn! He keeps his “chin up” most of the time, but this afternoon he had a “sad” time. I told him that that was ok; in “real life” we all have bad days. I think it was Elder Neal A. Maxwell (I hope I remember this correctly) that said something to the effect, It’s ok to have a bad day, just don’t have too many in a row! If someone can find that talk for me, it would be great to read it again. I looked on the internet tonight, but wasn’t able to find it in the time I had! We can’t say enough how much we appreciate the love, support and prayers. The jokes too!!! Until next time, Dean, Terry and Ryan

Phone Calls

Yesterday was another good day for Ryan. It is the weekend, and things move a little bit slower. It is a nice change of pace from the usual hustle and bustle of the weekdays. We decided that today we would take things slow. We did however have some really great experiences. Ryan’s mission President, President Johnson, and his wife came by again for another visit. They are such wonderful people, and Ryan appreciated them coming more than they can know. The last update described how Ryan’s tracheal cuff was deflated for a few minutes on Friday. They will continue doing this for a few minutes, a few times a day, to help Ryan get used to the feeling of a “wind tunnel in the back of his throat” as the RT described it. They deflated it three times on Saturday. Ryan was able to make three phone calls. The first one was to Mom. We tried our best to surprise her and we did a pretty good job. She knew of Ryan’s progress in this area, but I don’t think she anticipated a phone call so soon!! Then next phone call went to Dad. We told Mom to be sure and not tell Dad so we could surprise him as well. It takes quite a bit of work to render Dad speechless, but we got him! They were both so happy for Ryan and the progress that he is making. I think they are a little jealous that they weren’t here! Ryan was also able to talk to Meredith for a few minutes. I was afraid that he would keep talking longer than the RT wanted. But he did a great job. It is really a big step for Ryan to be able to express himself vocally. He told one of the RT’s several times that he appreciated her very much. You could tell that he felt he was expressing himself much better when he could vocalize the words. His voice still sounds a little funny, but they said that with time and practice that would change. We had a good day with food as well. Ryan seemed to have more of an appetite; he even had a salad with dinner last night. The doctor said that that would probably happen when they took the nightly feeding away. He has been eating all of his meals. The food here at Craig is decent, but I think he is looking forward to eating some real mashed potatoes! Scott & Becky tried out Ryan’s chair. Scott got the hang of it pretty easily, he was chasing Becky around the room! Becky on the other hand had some difficulties getting the sips & puffs right. Hard & soft puffs & sips do different things. A hard puff puts you into driving mode. Once you are in driving mode another hard puff makes you go forward. A hard sip makes you go backwards. Getting to take off initially is probably the hardest part. A soft puff makes it go to the right and a soft sip makes it go left. Two soft sips in a row make it stop. There are other commands but this helps you to get the general picture of how it operates. Last night we had a movie night. Aunt Geralyn and Uncle Keith went and got a bunch of snacks and treats and we all sat together and watched a movie. The movie wasn’t that great, but it was nice to have a somewhat normal Saturday evening together. We had a good time eating ice cream and cookies, and just relaxing together. We are learning that Craig Hospital is not a sad place. It is a place of hope and good things to come. We are learning to see the progress in Ryan and in other patients. There is a young man here from Mexico; he fell off a roof while working. He speaks hardly any English and only has his father here as his mother is still in Mexico with the rest of the family. How hard it must be for him to be alone so much and in a country where he does not speak the language. Yet, he was reaching out to Ryan and our family, trying to make conversation while we were all sitting out on the bridge. We all enjoyed meeting him. As we said, this is a place of hope and encouragement. It seems like each day Ryan has a couple of visitors come from his new ward to see him. It makes you realize that we are more than just members of a church organization. We are brothers and sisters from our Heavenly Father. It builds your testimony of being served and serving others. In the scriptures it says: “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." (Mosiah 2:17) We appreciate the love & support that we have felt through prayers, e-mails, and cards. Thank you. With love, Scott, Becky, Aunt Geralyn, Uncle Keith and Ryan

A Special Visit

Today was an awesome day! It was very long and Ryan (and all the rest of us) were very tired at the end of it. Yesterday Ryan was told by the doctor that once he began eating almost all of his meals, they would be able to discontinue the nightly tube feedings. Well, you know Ryan, as soon as he was asked to do something, he did it. He started the day off with a healthy breakfast of French toast and fruit and a big bacon cheeseburger for lunch. He says that he isn’t hungry, but knows that he needs to eat. He seemed to enjoy the cheeseburger the most. So today they decided to discontinue the food at night. Two days ago a dietician had brought several bottles of the food that they give him, she wasn’t terribly happy that she was asked to come and get it all back today! We were glad though. They will continue to supplement meals where he doesn’t feel like eating as much, but the nightly feedings are a thing of the past. Hopefully this will increase his appetite even more! We joked with him that we would have to get Mom to cook him some good homemade food. Then we joked that we would have to get someone to cook it for Mom!! (Sorry Mom, had to do it!) Ryan was also able to sit in his chair for 4 hours today. He was exhausted by the end of it, but seemed to be happy that he did it. We also got to learn more about the chair that Ryan has. It is a pretty neat piece of equipment. There are several modes and commands that make it run. He is able to recline himself, move in every direction and even do 360’s! Everyone here compliments him on how well he drives it for a beginner. After they were all gone, he said to me, “It’s not that hard!” He was driving it today like a pro. The OT asked us to give it a try so we would have an idea of how hard it is. She said that Ryan makes it look easy, but it is really fairly difficult. We are planning on trying it tomorrow (Saturday) morning. Probably the most exciting thing that happened today was just before they moved Ryan to his bed. Earlier in the morning Ryan’s pulmonologist came and checked Ryan’s lungs. He then gave the okay to deflate Ryan’s trach cuff. This is the balloon that is inflated to prevent liquids, food, and secretions from going into his lungs. Unfortunately, it has also prevented him from speaking. They said that they would deflate it for a few minutes at a time as it can be fairly difficult to adjust to the feeling. The RT said that it will feel like there is a wind tunnel in the back of his mouth. Needless to say, we were all very excited about this. They deflated the cuff and Ryan was able to speak a few words!! It will take him several days to adjust to the feeling, but he was able to have it deflated for a little less than 5 minutes today. They will continue to work with him a few minutes each day. They weren’t sure how long it would take for Ryan to adjust to it, but that it would take some time. However, it was a great first step! A little story to let you all know how wonderful the people here at Craig are. During lunch today in the cafeteria, we met one of the Directors. She was in the cafeteria eating with some of the patients. She told us that it was part of a program that they do called “grubbing”. They often come to the cafeteria and share time and meals with different patients so that they “stay in contact”. She also said that the board of directors always has people on it that have been patients at Craig. She pointed out that we have to focus on the fact that there will be progress even though at times it seems slow. She said, “you will look back a month from now and see that you have come a long way, and a month after that you will look back and see even more progress.” She also said that we should go downstairs to the “gym” where there is documentation, almost like a museum, of progress patients have made. She said that when Ryan leaves Craig he will still be able to do the things he loves to do….”he may do them differently, but he will still be able to enjoy them”. It gave us all more hope. A big highlight of the day was that Ryan’s mission president and his wife, President and Sister Johnson, came to visit. What wonderful people they are. We could tell they and Ryan had a deep affection for each other and it meant so much that they would come all the way from Washington State to visit. President Johnson has a great sense of humor, another reason we could tell that he and Ryan had “bonded”. They will never know what their visit meant to Ryan. I commented to Ryan after they left what wonderful people they are and he said….”I really love them”. (Hard to convey the depth of his emotion here) . Words cannot express the help your love, emails, prayers and support are helping us all. Ryan is asking for the mail to be read to him daily, it is such a boost. We are all forever changed by this experience and to know that we have such loving and caring friends and family is making this journey somewhat easier. Our testimonies are another great strength and it is Ryan’s faith that is sustaining him. We love you all.

Popular Lungs

Today Ryan had to deal with a couple of “rookies.” And we started the day off poorly. After only two hours on the job, I lost my brother! The nurse came in this morning and woke him up to give him a bath. We left and went to the lobby to give him some privacy. When we came back, he was gone, bed and all! We spoke with a nurse and found out that they took him to do the MRI and CAT scan earlier than anticipated. Not the best way to start the day! We also learned today that Ryan has a very popular set of lungs. There must have been 7 or 8 different people who asked him if they could listen to his lungs. They are very worried about congestion and infection. They all said that he was improving. The doctor from the Swedish Hospital came and spoke with him about infection and antibiotics. She had never met Ryan before and was asking him some of the standard questions, “Are you allergic to anything, have you ever had surgery, etc.” Then she asked him if he was a heavy smoker. He told her no. She then asked if he drank, to which Ryan responded, “No, never.” She laughed somewhat and said, “No more than any other twenty-two year old boy.” I had to tell her that no, he had never drank alcohol. I still don’t know if she believed him. It is very interesting to see how people react to the morals and values that Ryan has. He has always been such a wonderful example to all of those around him. Ryan has had a very long and eventful day. In addition to having the MRI and CAT scan done, they also are working on him sitting in his chair more and more each day. The PT said that they are gradually working up to being in the chair for 4 hours at a time. We had an interesting and frightening experience with Ryan’s chair today. They want him to sit upright as much as possible. It is the best position for his lungs. But, for every 15 minutes that he sits in it they ask him to do what is called a weight shift. It means that he has to recline in his chair to almost a horizontal position for 2 or 3 minutes. This shifts his weight and helps to avoid many problems, all of which I don’t really understand. Anyhow, the first time that Ryan leaned back he was controlling it with his “sip”, or maybe it was a “puff”! And he began to fall backwards. Becky and I jumped up and began yanking his chair back into position. Little did we know, this is how the chair is designed to operate. It has a couple of “wheelie bars” on the back that allow it to recline a little more without tipping over. However, for that split second, we thought we where going to have a big problem on our hands! I think we gave Ryan a good scare too! Needless to say the next few times we learned to control the chair and ourselves, a little better. Craig hospital has some neat equipment. Over each patients door is a set of lights. Anytime a nurse or doctor goes into one of the rooms, a green light turns on. People then know that there are medical personnel in the room. There are also three other lights that light up when the patient is having problems, allowing the technicians to see quickly where there is trouble. The lights are triggered by badges that all the staff wears. Another benefit of these little badges is that it allows pages over the intercom to be directed to a specific room. If a member of the staff is paged and is in a patient’s room, the page will only be sounded in that room! It cuts down significantly on the noise in each individual room. Today Ryan was able to get rid of one of those neat pieces of equipment. Until this point they have had his oxygen at 40%. This means that the air he breathes is 40% oxygen. Today they were able to decrease that to 30%! This is wonderful news, as it allows Ryan to travel without an extra oxygen tank. More importantly, it means that his lungs are working better. They are absorbing more oxygen. We appreciate all of the love and support that we have received. Ryan greatly enjoys hearing from each of you. We can’t say enough times how much the prayers and faith extended on his behalf are appreciated. With love, Scott, Becky, Aunt Geralyn, Uncle Keith and Ryan

Don't Waste Chocolate!

Ryan got to "drive" today. The OT got his "ride" fitted to him and then took him down stairs to the gym. He seemed a little apprehensive, as I am sure he thought about the last time he was in a gym, as he began to drive his chair for the first time. We haven't named his chair yet, we have a lot of good choices, we just need to put them together and take a vote or put them in a hat and have a drawing. The chair is moved by blowing, “puff”, or sucking, “sip”, on a tube. Different intensities of sipping and puffing will allow him to move forward, in reverse, right or left. He really did well, in fact OT said that she was going back to the office and brag on the "new guy" and how well he did. For the first time he was able to go outside under his own control -- it was such a beautiful day. There were four of us walking along side his chair as he maneuvered his way around the gym, up the ramp, down the hall and finally outside. The OT told us that she wanted us to try out the chair so that we would have a full understanding of how it worked. Dean and I will be leaving tomorrow to return to Farmington for Lisa's High School graduation. We are planning to return Sunday night. This might be our last update until we get back, unless we can get Scott and Becky (Ryan's older brother and sister-in-law) to post some thoughts. Geralyn and Keith, Terry's sister and brother-in-law are coming as well. They are all planning on staying until we get back Sunday night -- unless I can't stand it and start back right after the graduation!!!! We learned that they will be doing an MRI and a CAT scan tomorrow, to see if the "halo" is doing its job and the vertebras are aligned correctly. They informed us that the doctor may know the results by tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning. I let them know that we would be gone -- thinking that we could wait until Monday to get the results -- but were informed that Ryan is an adult so they would give the results to him!!! I am hoping the doc gets busy and waits until Monday to give "us" the results. Ohh, Mom!! Ryan also has an infection in the secretion from the lungs. So they have added an Infectious Disease doctor to the list of "team" members! This doctor will come from the Swedish Hospital and specializes in disease control -- the human body is incredibly complicated or fascinating -- depending on how you want to look at it. His lead doctor told us that he would like to have the other doctor, who has much more experience in infectious disease, look at him to insure they get the infection under control. We received an e-mail from a good friend in Farmington and his children, who are now in High School, were reminiscing about Ryan and when he used to baby-sit for them. They have three little (or big now) girls who loved to play pretty, pretty princes. They would con Ryan into playing with them and then dress him up like a princess. He was such a good sport!!! The little girls loved chocolate milk and they would ask Ryan to help them fix some chocolate milk before they went to bed. As the story is told, Ryan would only let them put one scoop of Nestle Quik in their milk, which thru this e-mail we learned was quite traumatic for the girls. I guess Ryan learned some lessons from his mom!!! Don't waste the chocolate!!!! We are learning all kinds of acronyms!! PT = Physical Therapy; OT = Occupation Therapy; RT = Respiratory Therapy, etc. etc. The one they have forgot, is DT. DT = Dead Tired!!!! Love, Dean, Terry, and Ryan

Duct Tape

Today was a good day for Ryan. He was up in his chair for a little over two hours this morning. Later in the afternoon occupational therapist fine-tuned his power chair and began the first stages of teaching him how to "sip and puff" so that he can begin to learn how to recline on his own and learn how to drive (Dean wondered if it had four-wheel drive!! Men!!). One of the many things we are learning about wheelchairs is weight shifting. When we sit for a long period of time we squirm and move around to relax our muscles and find a comfortable spot. Since Ryan can't feel anything, we have a timer to remind us (or him) to shift. When he is sitting up in his chair we have to lean him way back for a minute or two for every 15 minutes of sitting up straight. When he is in bed they turn him any time he asks or every two hours. Failure to shift or move can result in skin sores and other problems. Aside from the obvious, including breathing and pneumonia, bed sores are the next thing they watch for! Bed sores can become real serious if not check frequently, the nurse was telling me that if they get too bad, which is only about 10% of the time, the only way to cure them is surgery, at a beginning dollar amount of 50K and then staying in bed until they heal -- that didn't make sense to me -- why would you want to stay in bed with bed sores!!! She said that there is a patient here at Craig that had a severe problem and has been down for seven months, they were getting her up for the first time today. There is always someone with bigger problems then us. It is unbelievable what they have to watch for. We take so many things for granted. We never do think about when our body needs a breath, or the ability to cough, etc, etc. Dean wanted to mention the hoist system that is used to get Ryan from the bed to his chair. The hoist system is suspended above his bed from the ceiling. First they roll him over and put a "sling" under him, the sling is in the shape of a tooth, with two roots -- can you picture that! The bigger area is positioned around his body and arms so that his arms will stay close to his body and the two "roots" are lined up with his legs, they bring the two "roots" between his legs and hook the webbing loops at the ends of each leg and the webbing loops at the shoulders onto the power hoist and lift him into the chair. Meredith and I were talking about the "sling" today and I asked her what she thought -- she kinda winced and we decided that it looked almost inhumane, but we couldn't figure out what else to do to get a "big" boy like Ryan (actually, there are others here that are much larger than Ryan) from his bed to his chair. We are going to have to think on that one for awhile!! Ryan had a visitor, Mark, today who was hurt about eight years ago, when he was 16 years old. He was hurt while working at a lumber yard. He has since graduated from high school and then went on to college for his bachelor’s degree and has just enrolled in law school in Los Angles. He said that when he was released from Craig -- he had been at Craig about four months -- he went to his home town and the high school that he had gone to was built in the early 1900s and was not wheelchair accessible. He said his family had to get involved in school board and town meetings to get bond issues passed. He said that several had failed before finally passing. We asked if he goes back to the HS -- he said he didn't like to because there was still a lot of contention in the town and a lot of the people were still quite negative towards him and now called the HS "Mark's School"!! What do we have to look forward to?? He told Ryan that he had just been skiing (I can't remember where) but it was at a resort for those with impairments. He said that they had used tons of duct tape which they wrapped around him to keep his ventilator on and to keep him on the skies!!! Ironically, I had said to the doc in Idaho Falls, when he asked if there was anything he could do, if he couldn't just use duct tape or super glue to fix Ryan!! We may see duct tape yet! Anyway, Mark told Ryan all the things which he has been able to accomplish -- since his accident. He also told Ryan that there would be days that he would be "mad and angry at God" and "mad and angry at the world". After Mark left, Ryan looked at me and mouthed, "Mom, I am NOT mad at God." I assured him that we knew that he wasn't, that we didn't know why this was happening, but we knew that God had a plan and for some reason, this was in His plan. I told him that I felt like if we asked "why", that was Satan's tool to get us to become discourage. We also talked about how we need to rely on the medical advice of his doctors, but we know that there is a "higher power" in this and thru His will, Ryan can receive the miracles which he has been promised. The other day, some of the nurses were giving Ryan a hard time about being a young person and drinking and partying. They were trying to get him to admit or tell about some of the "activities" that he had been in!!! They told him that he didn't have to admit to anything while his parents and girlfriend were in the room, but he could tell them "everything" later!!! I am sure it is really hard to believe that in today's world there are still kids out there who don't get involved in those types of activities!! It will be fun when Ryan can talk and let those he comes in contact with know who he really is and what he really stands for! His missionary training and experience will be invaluable. Today, he was given a shot of insulin in his leg -- with a SCI they have to watch his sugar levels as well -- when the nurse gave him the shot, he winced and Meredith eyes got really big and she asked him if he could feel that. He said, "no, but if I could I know that it would really hurt!!!" He still has that sense of humor. He is going to carry all of us thru this!! We love you all -- thanks thanks thanks for your love, support, and messages of encouragement. Love, Dean, Terry and Ryan

"A room with a view please!"

Yesterday, (Sunday) we had a bit of a scare when Ryan's vent got plugged and he was unable to breathe. To complicate matters his intercom didn't work and they were unable to call for the help they needed. It took "all of me" to stand there and watch while the technician kept saying to another tech -- go get the nurse -- I thought of my "basketball" voice -- but decided there were to many other patients in the hospital and there would have been pandemonium!!! The nurse came running in finally, followed by about 12 other people. Ryan just kept mouthing, "I can't breath, I can't breath." He seemed to be so calm, but we have to remember, he can't move anything -- his head -- his arms -- his toes. The nurse up in Idaho told him that he needed to learn to read the body language of the nurses and the staff around him -- if they were calm, then things were under control -- if they were in a frenzy then that was the time to worry. I think he learned that lesson -- after they found that the filter was the problem and got him back on the ventilator, he had a smile on his face and wanted to get in his chair and go out on the bridge. I can't remember if we have mentioned, the bridge is enclosed and crosses over Clarkson Street connecting the East and West wings of the hospital. If the patient hasn't been approved to go outside, they can at least go to the bridge and feel like they are outside. It is actually quite pretty -- all the green in Denver. Today they took Ryan for an ultrasound to check on the blood clot he has in his right arm. As they got ready to take him, the transporter asked Dean if he wanted to go and he said sure. He was wheeled thru the underground walk way to the Swedish Medical Center for the test. It is quite a maze of walkways! The clot has not moved and looks as if it is breaking up; good news! Michelle, Tristen, and Lisa came up to see us this morning. It was great to see our grandson (Oh yea, the girls too). He is 4 months old and has grown up so much since we have seen him. Thanks to Jerry, they were able to fly up and back -- and not spend so much time on the road. Today they moved Ryan into a two-bed room. But as of now he is the only one in the room. The nurse told us that she has never seen a second person in the room -- so we are hoping to have a "private" stay. It sure is a lot more quite and he has some nice windows; a nice view of the outside world. They ordered a new "motor" ride for him and starting getting him fitted for it today. It will be much easier on the backs of "the girls" who get to push him around. He eventually will be able to maneuver around on his own, once he gets controlled breathing. As scary as this is, the equipment that has been invented to help those with SCIs is remarkable. One of Craig's goals is to help their patients become as independent as they possibly can. I need to clarify, when we talk about Ryan saying something, we really me to say that he "mouths" words. He is not able to speak yet. We are hoping that they will be able to put in a "speaking valve" so that he will be able to talk again. The trach is only about 4-5" long and it has a "balloon" on the end of it. The balloon seals off the air from coming up thru his throat and thru the voice box. When they put in the new "speaking valve" they will deflate the balloon, which will allow air to come up thru the voice box; allowing him to speak. I am assuming that his voice will be real raspy -- but we won't know for sure. At least he will be able to talk rather than mouth all of his words. Ryan sure appreciates your e-mails, cards, he is not on very much pain medication now so he is "alert" quite a bit and each day he asks us to read "the mail" that has come for him. He keeps telling us to be sure and Thank you all -- He TRULY appreciates the love and support. By the way, when I go back and read some of the updates, I realize my writing abilities are lacking -- sorry!! Until next time --- Dean, Terry and Ryan

New Set of Wheels

When we came in this morning, Ryan’s "room" was very busy. The oxygen content in his air had gone from 40% to 100%. We breathe around 21% oxygen in a normal room. So he had been doing pretty well getting down to 40%. But when it escalated to 100%, it became a cause for concern. Normally they can control it by suctioning out the lungs, but that didn't help this time. The Doc ordered a CAT scan to see what was going on. The Craig Hospital is located next door to the Swedish Medical Center where they can send patients for all of those types of tests. The two buildings are connected by an underground walk way. When the results came back, they did not find a blood clot, but did discover that the lower part of his left lung had collapsed and had some infectious secretions (the beginning stage of pneumonia). From x-rays they had taken they were concerned about the left lung but with the CAT scan they could see that there were a few more problems than they initially thought. The Doc came in and preformed a bronchial -- something. It is a procedure where they go down the trach with a scope to see what is going on and to suction out any secretions. He said they will start Ryan on two different types of antibiotics to control the infection. They are still not too worried about pneumonia, just taking some precautionary measures. As you might be able to guess, when a person lies flat on their back for an extended period of time the fluid that we normally cough and move around on our own stays trapped in the lung and it is critical to keep moving and eliminating the fluid. When that fluid stays in our lungs the tiny air sacs in our lungs are like a sponges in water and never get to dry out; thereby reducing the lung’s capacity to breathe. Ryan has been pretty down today. I think it is in response to the oxygen thing this morning. He did ask to get up in his new "wheels". We need to have a contest to name his wheelchair!!! Wheelchair sounds so mundane!!! Any ideas??? After he got back to bed, I tried to get him to talk -- he finally told us that he felt like he was taking a step backwards -- with all the mornings’ activities. We reminded him that he was going to probably have several of those kinds of days -- but tomorrow would be a better day. One of the x-rays from earlier this week showed a blood clot in his upper right arm near the PICC line --the semi permanent IV, that was installed at EIRMC. They took him to surgery to install another PICC line in his left arm. When they came back the nurses told us that he had set a new record for having the longest PICC line installation. Fortunately the blood clot is in a superficial vein and they will not need treatment, but they will continue to watch it. The filter that was installed at EIRMC (Idaho Falls) is designed to catch blood clots from the legs; this blood clot is above that filter. At 6'4" he is one of tallest patients here right now. In fact they had to put an extension on the end of his bed. When we had Ryan trying out his new wheels, Doug, one of the other patients was teasing him because they took the extension from his bed to use for Ryan. Doug is 6'2" -- he said he was glad to meet the man who took part of his bed!!! A big part of the therapy here is peer pressure and patient encouragement. Doug told Ryan that rehab is tough and there will be times that he wants to quit, but to hang in there -- "its hard", he said, "but you can do it." We have gotten to know some of the family of some of the patients here -- and heard their stories as to why they "got" to come to Craig. Obviously, most of them have been accidents -- work related as well as pleasure related. One gentleman, Anthony, I am guessing but he is about 50-55 fell off a ladder during a construction job, one young man, I don't know his name and again I am guessing his age -- but I think around 25-28 was in a diving accident. Anthony has been here about six months and is getting ready to be moved to the "East" wing. There the patients live in "apartments" and their families can come and live with them for the transition to home. The other young man's injury happened six years ago and he has since gone to college and recently graduated. He returned for some additional surgery and therapy -- but shouldn't be here all that long. OK all you basketball fans, Ryan has been trying (when he is not drugged or being turned in his bed) to watch the playoffs -- and has caught some of the games -- but would like to hear how the teams are doing -- I don't even know if the games are still going on!!! We don't get to watch much TV -- actually none!!! So, send us your take on the games and who you are "betting" on!! His "new" Bishop, Bishop Hatch, came in last night and met him. He will be in the Maplewood Ward, Denver Stake -- I think?? The Elder's Quorum President, Luke Mease (sp), also came by. He is going to medical school here in Denver, but is from Grand Junction. The ward will bring in a thought and the sacrament tomorrow -- which Ryan is looking forward too. After talking to Bishop Hatch we found that he knew Uncle Fred and Aunt Mary (Terry's dad’s brother) and Harold and Sharon (Terry's first cousin) really well. Harold and Sharon and their daughter Megan came by and visited today. After visiting with Harold, we learned that Harold knows Meredith's dad, Marshall Pratt, from their younger days in El Paso, Texas!!! I guess Clifford, Harold's younger brother and Richard, Marshall's older brother were best friends!! Harold asked Meredith to ask his dad about a lawnmower accident!!!! Meredith knew all about it -- what a small world we live in! Michelle, our daughter, called today and said that Steve, her husband, was having sympathy pains for Ryan. He was putting a new cooler up for his Grandmother with the help of his mom and dad and the ladder came out from under him and he lost his balance and fell on his mother and then the ladder and the cooler fell on them both! We hope Kathy is OK. We heard she was bruised and sore. Steve hurt both of his ankles. He sprained them pretty bad. It will be a few days before he can even put pressure on them. He said that he and Tristen are going to crawl around and maybe even start racing!! Steve we hope you get up and going soon. Ryan feels your pain!!! We are going to put a bubble around our kids and not let them do anything but be couch potatoes!!! Love to all -- thanks for everything -- Ryan wants to be sure that we continue to say THANKS THANKS THANKS. Your love and support means so much to him. Dean, Terry and Ryan

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam

I was speaking with a nurse last night and answering some of her questions concerning Ryan and his accident. When she found out that it was only two weeks ago that it happened she was surprised that we were able to be admitted here at Craig so quickly. She said that most of their patients go to other rehab facilities first and then transfer here sometimes two or three months later. She also indicated that the sooner they come here the better. My thought was another small miracle. Of all of the patients to short circuit the system, I can't think of a better person to have that blessing than Ryan. Someone mentioned the study that is going on here, at Craig, for research. It applies to patients that are able to come here within two weeks of their injury. Ryan was here a day later than two weeks, but the requirement is that their injury is C5 or lower. Ryan is C1, C2. The Doc also told me that it is a study, not a cure. As we are beginning to feel our way around here I have a whole new appreciation of the term "hold to the rod". In the Gospel sense it means to stay true to the word of God and not be distracted by outside influences. In our "normal" world we very seldom think of what people in wheelchairs go through just to open a door or get over a step. There are numerous 'rods' or handles in our new world. I have often thought about the support system that we have been blessed with. For the first couple of days it was Ryan's smile. It was such a comfort to see that it was still our Ryan, even though his body wasn't able to respond. Then we received, and are still blessed with, the tremendous support from family, friends, associates, and even complete strangers. Isn't that what life is all about? Reaching out to others and helping in time of need? Perhaps we would do well to slow down our lives a little and be a little more kind to each other. Ryan has been a huge example of being kind to everyone. Although he is not comfortable he is always kind and well mannered in his interactions with every nurse, technician, doctor, visitor, family member, etc. If we are so busy trying a make a living, or to gain an education, or raise our families that we can't be nice to one another every day, what really are we accomplishing? I remember the quote by President David O. McKay...."no other success can compensate for failure in the home". Are we adequately prepared? I have been looking at some of the information that is available to families and have been reminded that there are many things that we should consider in our every day decisions to prepare us for an emergency. If we wait for the emergency to occur it's usually too late to prepare. They are talking about living wills, medical durable power of attorney, cardio pulmonary resuscitation, substitute decision makers, guardians etc., etc. (Does Terry Shivo - Florida ring a bell?) Hello to Lori and the Docs at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, AZ. The apartment complex that we are staying in is located just across the street from the hospital. It is available to families for 30 days and has been a great blessing to have immediate housing so close to Ryan. It is very comfortable and convenient. We have had a request for Ryan's mailing address (Ryan's name must be on the mailing-they use the name rather than room number because patients are moved around, depending on their progress):

Ryan Griffin c/o Craig Hospital 3425 S. Clarkson Street, Englewood, CO 80110

Today Ryan was able to get in his new "wheels", a wheelchair, and go for a ride (with assistance of course). They used a overhead hoist and put him in a sling to lift him out of his bed and then positioned him in a manual chair. PT asked him how he felt and he said he felt sad. I can only imagine how many realizations he will have to face as the total impact of what has happened to him and just how much this has changed his life. We were able to push him out to an enclosed cross walk that went over the street connecting the two buildings and spend about an hour there. It was nice for him to be able to see the outside again. It didn't take long for him to become dizzy and we took him back to room. His mission president, President Johnson, sent him a very moving letter. One of the things he reminded Ryan of was that "Jesus wanted him for a Sunbeam".

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, To shine for him each day; In ev’ry way try to please him, At home, at school, at play. A sunbeam, a sunbeam, Jesus wants me for a sunbeam. A sunbeam, a sunbeam, I’ll be a sunbeam for him. Jesus wants me to be loving And kind to all I see, Showing how pleasant and happy His little one can be. A sunbeam, a sunbeam, Jesus wants me for a sunbeam. A sunbeam, a sunbeam, I’ll be a sunbeam for him.

We talked, after he got back to his room about how this was a great "first step" in his rehab and how his "first step" with the Gospel was in Primary (at age 3) when he went into the Sunbeam class and how thru his faith and knowledge of our Savior he would continue to be a "Sunbeam for Him". I love the Primary songs, they are filled with such simple faith. There is a lot of training for the families to assist in a helping a patient and the one we went to tonight was on respiratory care. We are learning how to keep him breathing, by using a "Ambu" when we go out on an "outing" and to suction out his lungs if he would happen to require that while we were away from the hospital. Boy is this scary!!!! When the respitory therapist (RT) was telling Ryan that they were going to teach us how to take care of his respiratory needs he got white in the face!! I am sure he was thinking, “There is no way these people are going to touch me!!!” It will be a few weeks before we can take him too far away from trained medical support, thank goodness!!! But, it will be nice for Ryan to see something other than the hospital. Although, I do have to say, Craig is a very relaxed site -- in the sense that none of the staff wear hospital garb, just street clothes. They try very hard to have a natural atmosphere rather than the traditional hospital feeling. They want the patients to try and move back into life as naturally as possible. All of the staff is very kind and considerate of all the patients -- a very happy and calming atmosphere. All of this even though he is completely paralyzed from the neck down and on a ventilator, amazing. Ryan wanted us to be sure and thank all of your for your e-mails. We have been able to read almost all of them to him the last couple of days -- it is very up lifting and refreshing to hear that there is a "real" world out there. Love Dean, Terry and Ryan

It's Quicker by Plane

Hi from Colorado. We made it. Ryan was a trooper he made the trip without a whimper!!! The Learjet (I spelled it wrong in the last update -- I don't know how to spell those expensive words!!) was awesome. We were in the air about 47 minutes!! Once we got to cruising altitude, it felt like we were gliding on grandpa's porch swing!!! The flight nurse was really good, she kept talking to Ryan and making sure he was comfortable. Craig had a room ready for us when we got here. Several docs/techs (about 9-11 -- I quit counting after a bit) hovered over Ryan's face. I think they were in awe as to how good looking he is!! -- only a mom!! They wanted to make sure that the reports that came with him were accurate. He had a chest x-ray to make sure his lungs were clear after the move. He had been on feeding by mouth in Idaho, but his "new" doctor, Dr. Balazy, wanted to redo the "blue goo" test to make sure that his esophagus is working properly and fluids/solids won't get down in the trach. Ryan felt like we were taking a few steps backwards again, but he was cleared for real food today. When we arrived and he was rolled down the hall on the gurney, he was eyeing all the clients/patients in wheelchairs; there were all varieties, from the simplest to the most extensive, clients/patients with the smallest spinal cord injuries (SCI's) to patients with the most extreme injuries. After all the doctors/tech's had been in, we were able to talk, this was the first time he had expressed his fears. I was having a hard time too -- but I kept telling myself, you’re the mom, be strong!!!! It worked for a little bit. Then we shared a cry and now have more determination to move forward and make some progress. One of the administrators (Terry) came in and gave us a book to read about SCI; she was in a wheel chair!! Today, we have seen some of the doctors in wheelchairs. It was encouraging to Ryan and us that life can move forward and hopefully life will return to some kind of normal before to long. We have decided that we will re-define "normal". The book that "Terry" brought in is a Spinal Cord Injury Handbook. It details in lay terms what an SCI is and what is required to manage the functions of the body that no longer work. I have read the first couple of chapters and have learned about pain management, medications, nutrition, complications after a SCI, bladder management, bowel management, etc. etc. This is way over my head -- I have decided that "blind faith" is not a bad thing!!! With the Lord's help, we will get thru this. One of Ryan's nurses, here at Craig, told him again that she believes in a higher power and that the outcome of this tragedy is between Ryan and Him. I am grateful that Ryan has that encouragement from others. Dean and Meredith drove down from Idaho Falls and got here about 10:30 pm. Meredith said that it was sure a long way across Wyoming, nothing to see except sage brush and antelope. Ryan threatened Dean before they left to be kind to her. She had a smile on her face when she came in -- so the ride must not have been too bad. I was sure glad to see them! We spoke to Dr. Balazy, and he said that the chest x-ray, which they took yesterday, showed that a small portion of his left lung had collapsed so they were going to watch to make sure pneumonia doesn't set in. Ryan had another spinal column x-ray today -- just to make sure that the "halo" was set correctly. We were also told today that we will have a consultation with "the team" which consists of 10 doctors/specialists (Dr. Balazy, a neurosurgeon, a pulmonary doc, etc. etc.) on June 1st to discuss Ryan's goals and treatment program. I was kind of surprised to hear that they were waiting so long, but I think it gives Ryan some time to adjust and actually get up in a wheelchair, and go through some physical therapy to see what he can do right now, etc. etc. When we left last night, they brought in a "call light" for him -- they don't have videos in the rooms like they do in ICU. The "call light" is more like a "call tube" which Ryan can blow in when he needs a nurses help. It is on a flexible arm that can reach over to his mouth. I put it close to his mouth, actually touching, and he said, "Don't touch my mouth with that!" I think again, a little reality that he can't do anything!!! Tonight, we had to go and buy (I went shopping again!) him some "x-large" shirts to fit over the halo and "x-large" pants/shorts so he is comfortable in his chair -- as we left, he asked that we put the call tube to his mouth -- so he is adjusting. He is in a room with two other patients, which gets a little crazy sometimes -- with all the monitors and alarms going off, as well as the nurses and techs moving about. We talked with Pat, from Patient and Family Services, and requested a private room; so maybe we will get to move rooms in the near future. We enjoy the e-mails and updates from "the world outside" of Craig Hospital. We feel of your love and support and again truly appreciate the faith and prayers on Ryan's behalf. We are truly loved by many! THANK YOU. I am grateful to know that when we are having one of those "not so good days", we can rely on the faith and prayers of others to carry us through. I would like to thank Scott for helping keep up with the web page. So many have expressed their appreciation for the updates. As we were doing some of the paper work for admittance, they had a service to set up a web page because concerned families and friends want to know the progress of their loved one -- I was able to tell them that Scott was already on top of that!!! Thanks again Scott. Love, Dean, Terry and Ryan

Bronco Country Here We Come!

Well, we are headed to Bronco Country -- sorry all you 49ers, Steelers and Cardinals fans. I told Ryan he couldn't be going to nicer country in the spring time; he just wishes it was football season!! Ryan will be leaving EIRMC tomorrow morning about 10:00am; headed for Craig Hospital in Englewood, Colorado. He told Meredith, that he was ready to go and get started making some progress and get some control back in his life. The PT came in today and asked him if he wanted a break and he said, "No, let's get going!!" Air Ambulance Services, Inc. (AAS) called this morning and wanted to know if it was a "go" to transfer Ryan (they require 24-hour notice) and Jackie, the Social Worker who has been working out all the details for the transfer, told them that a bed was not available at Craig and not to schedule the flight. She had come into tell us that we wouldn't be going until the first of next week, when a call came in from Craig telling us that a bed had been made available. Jackie called AAS back, but they had dispatched the plane (turbo prop) to another location. It wasn't but a few minutes later when AAS called back and said that they had a Leer Jet which had become available and wondered if that would work??? Jackie told Dean we could get that plane, if we would guarantee payment! Always a catch!! Dean gave the OK -- so we are on our way. Scott is jealous, that Ryan gets to ride in a Leer Jet -- it probably will be the only time -- he will be sedated some what -- so he won't even get to enjoy it!!! Actually he is ready to go, Sue from Craig, even though she had to give him some "not so good" news, was very encouraging as to what will be accomplished by the time he is ready to go home, which scares me to death!!! She told him that he will be ready to go back to school, to work on his career plans, be able to go to baseball games (she would have made more points if she would have said basketball or football, sorry Steve), go fishing, camping, be able to get in and out of a car, etc. etc. The RT came in and did a "show and tell' on the trach tube. They used a piece of four inch PVC pipe to represent the neck, then cut a 1/2" hole in it to represent the opening in the throat. It helped all of us to see what was actually down his throat -- and I think it help Ryan to understand that the tube was only about five inches long, rather than all the way down into his lungs. For you medical people out there, you must think we are real idiots!!! We are!!! -- I need a “Spinal Cord Injury for Dummies” book!!! I have heart failure when I stub my toe -- this is way over my head! His appetite is increasing a little everyday. They want to try and get him off the feeding tube as soon as he can -- so we try and encourage him to eat as much as possible -- but as we all know, hospital food is not the best. Ryan was a little discouraged this morning after receiving the "not so good" word about his breathing. As a mom, you hate to see your kids depressed, and so I had to leave for a little bit. I went shopping at Wal-Mart!!! When I went into the store, I realized that I hadn't been "shopping" for two weeks. I couldn't believe that I hadn't spent any money (other than for food) in 14 days!!! Dean said that my realization of the fact that you don't have to spend money everyday is a BLESSING!!! I told him that his "communications" were a little fuzzy on that!! He is hoping that it will continue when we get home! It has rained, rained, rained up here -- it is so beautiful and green -- acres and acres of grass, tulips and trees. We are trying to keep our spirits up, I told the kids after we got the news of yesterday that maybe our Heavenly Father was testing our faith and that we needed to "keep our chin up" and trust in the Lord. Ryan has been given promises thru priesthood blessings, and we can't let the down days get to us. I hope that we are not sharing too much -- this is good therapy for me if nothing else!! Thanks again for your love and prayers -- we miss being at home. Last night Ryan was worried about home and if things were being taken care of there. We assured him that Michelle, Steve and Lisa and many others were taking care of things just fine. Love, Dean, Terry and Ryan

Good News and Bad News

The Good News Today the consultant from Craig Hospital near Denver, came to evaluate Ryan as a prospective patient. Her job is to look at the charts and records and interview the patient. She then makes a recommendation as to whether or not he is a candidate for their rehab center. We spent about two hours with her as she explained what was going on with Ryan. She covered the medical, emotional, and treatment options that they have at Craig. After we were done she said that he was medically stable and that she would recommend that he be transferred. We are excited about this facility. We have heard only good things, both on a personal level and by several professionals about this rehab center. Tomorrow she will call in her report and then they will begin the final details as to when Ryan will make the move. Having an available bed is part of the wait. She said that there was going to be a discharge this week, which would open a bed for Ryan -- we had been told they had a bed available. We are learning to be adaptable!!! The Bad News With this evaluation she discovered that the information that she had originally been given concerning Ryan's breathing on his own was not accurate. The high reading of his volume of air was because he was being assisted by the ventilator and not on his own. To make sure, they turned off the ventilator and had him exhale and inhale on his own, I think she called it a NIF. He was not able to be measured on the gauge. This was a HUGE disappointment. We were all sitting here taking BIG breaths for him!! We had been told that he was assisting over and above the machine but, learned today that was inaccurate information. There is a lot that we don't understand but basically all of the "progress" that we thought he was making concerning the breathing is false. He's not breathing on his own! So what about the tingling and clonus??? She told us that a reflex did not mean it was going through the spinal cord -- it could be an "involuntary" reflex. I think we have more questions now than we had before. All we know for sure is that our faith is strong and that there is a power greater than the "docs". The sooner that they can move him the better. At the rehab they specialize in brain and spinal injuries. It is a complete program and can give him the attention that he needs for his injury (C1 - C2). Today I went and loaded the stuff from his apartment and we are now ready to travel as soon as we get the word. We hope it is soon. Meredith, his girlfriend, said to him, "Isn't it nice to know that your life fits in one car?" We had a good laugh. Ryan seems ok. Even though today was difficult it was the first time that someone was directly honest with him. She was able to paint a more complete picture for us. She explained his injury, his current treatment, and what they can do for him in the rehab, whether his body regains function or not. It was sobering day as we realized that we need to prepare ourselves for a long journey. We continue to receive cards, e-mails and phone calls with love and support -- it really helps on days like today. I said to Dean and Meredith that maybe the Lord is testing Ryan, and us, to see how strong our faith really is. We will continue to try and be strong.

Teach Me to Walk in the Light

It has been an interesting experience being here and trying to redefine our role as parents. When we first arrived, we were so overwhelmed by the whole experience that our attention was placed on the equipment, machines, and numbers as well as all of the processes that were going on here at the ICU. It is amazing how busy it is every day, and most of the day. Also, we spent much of our time learning about Ryan’s injury and trying to comprehend just how serious this was. As we became some what accustomed to all of the "stuff" we began to realize what our real role was here, and that was to help Ryan with his emotional and mental state and being his support system. When Scott set up the web site we thought it would be a great thing to let Ryan know just how many people were interested in his welfare and improvement. As I thought about that, I tried to put myself in his place and all the information might actually be overwhelming to him -- to realize just how many people were putting the spot light on him. (This really must be a bad accident if so many people are taking time out of their busy schedules and lives to worry about me. And what about Mom and Dad being here all of time. Shouldn't they be at work sometime or helping to take care of Lisa or something else, etc.etc...) He is dealing quite well considering all of the things that are going on. Today (Sun) we had a good thing happen. PT (physical therapy) was in working on him and when they were working his legs he had a reflex and a very obvious resistance which was encouraging. His leg began to pulse or jump back and forth. The PT called it clonus --for you medical types this might make sense!!!. And, you know how the doctor types are when they qualify (what we call) progress with, "now I don't want you to get your hopes too high, this does not mean that it is getting up the spine, but it doesn't mean it isn't either. All we know is that this was the first time that had happened. So there is some type of signal going on, even if it only is the lower area. It is a small step in a very long process. Most nights we try to have a little devotional for him, he likes to read his scriptures everyday so we thought that it would be good to go to sleep with a "bright" thought each night. We had several friends and family members here so we were sharing uplifting thoughts and testimonies and knowledge of our Savior. We wanted to sing a song and when asked what song we should sing, Ryan requested "Teach Me to Walk in the Light". The words are here for those who might not be familiar with this hymn. (page 304 in the LDS hymn book)

Teach me to walk in the light of his love Teach to pray to my Father above Teach to know of the things that are right Teach me, teach me to walk in the light Come, little child and together we'll learn Of his commandments that we may return Home to his presence, to live in his sight Always, Always, to walk in the light Father in Heaven, we thank thee this day For loving guidance to show us the way Gratefully we praise thee with songs of delight Gladly, gladly we will walk in the light.

Of all of the songs that he could have picked, "Teach to Walk".....how ironic. I thought Terry was going to lose it. It was a very touching moment as we were again taught by our son to have faith. With the Lord’s help miracles can happen. I think that we all have prayed that a miracle would happen and we must not miss that many small miracles have and are already happening. Look at your own life and the effect that this accident has had on you and people that you know. Perhaps it can remind all of us to think about who we are and what kind of life that we are leading. Can't we all improve just a little? Jill, it was a pleasure to meet you and we hope that you made it home safely. Today we have had wonderful support from family and friends. It has been busy but a great day. We can't say enough how much we appreciate the love and support during this time. This journey is so foreign to us, but we know that we can do it. Monday the consultant from the Craig Hospital will be here to evaluate Ryan, interview the staff and visit the family in preparations for moving him to their facility. In preparations for that, he will need his rest! One family member will be able to fly with him, probably Terry, and I will follow later with his car and stuff. We will be able to stay 30 days on site and then go from there. We are just beginning to understand just how long this journey will be.

Pure Gold

Here we are Friday afternoon, enjoying a little bit of sunshine. It has rained everyday since we have been here -- for those in NM -- it is beautiful and GREEN -- everyone tells us they are in a drought!!!! Dean asked if I had heard what the weather is like in Farmington, I told him no, I had forgot there was a whole other world out there besides the road from the home we are staying at and the Idaho Falls hospital!!!! Ryan is doing well. We see a little progress each day -- which is very encouraging. The alarms went off on the ventilator yesterday and the nurses came in to see what the problem was, he was taking in too much air!!! His breathing had increased so they were able to turn down the pressure on the machine!! They want to wean him off of the ventilator and they will be able to as soon as they can get the pressure setting down to 5. It was at 15, now it is at 10!! A little bit at a time! The Physical Therapist is coming in more often to try and get him "moving" around a bit more. They had been putting him in what the call an "invalid chair" (I told them they needed to come up with a better name for the chair!) once a day, but today they want to try and get him sitting up twice. When they get him in the chair, he complains that his throat hurts. They think there may be some tenderness/swelling or something around the tracheotomy. Dr. Baker is going to put in a clean trach tube tomorrow -- so maybe he can see what is causing the discomfort. They want to keep him moving, because when he gets to the rehab center we are told that they are going to work him hard!! We are going to be going to the Craig Hospital in Englewood, CO. Craig Hospital is sending a person, on Monday, who will evaluate Ryan's needs and make sure that they will be ready for him. Once she has made the evaluation and everything is set, he will be moved. He will fly down in an "Air Ambulance" (sorry I don't know what kind of plane it is for those pilots out there!) We anticipate that he will "take the ride" Tuesday or Wednesday. He has to be at Craig by noon, so they will start getting him ready to go pretty early the morning he is transferred -- so they want him to get a good nights rest the night before he goes. The Respiratory Therapist came in today and asked where we were going to be transferred to and we told him Craig, he look Ryan in the eyes and said, "That’s great Ryan, only the best for you." We have a long road ahead of us with lots of uncertainties and challenges. With our faith and prayers and your continued love and support -- we will be able to run the course. We are continually amazed at the kind words, cards, thoughts and prayers that have been said on Ryan's behalf. We can't thank each of you enough. There have been numerous people here in Idaho Falls that have offered homes to family and friends that come to see Ryan and we truly appreciate it. We have loved the e-mails that come in for Ryan. We read as many as we can to him -- when he can stay awake -- and when a therapist of some kind is not working with him!! I loved this comment that our dear friend Tommy Haws made, "We are not sure why the Lord has asked you to go through this particular part of the refiner's fire, but we know the metal that you are forged from and that you will be pure gold."

Tickling the feet

We didn't get to the hospital today until about 10:30 a.m. Ryan seemed to be more "awake" than he has been -- which was nice. The reason we were later than usual was because we went to Rexburg and met with Ryan's PE class. It is remarkable to see the strength in our youth today! They were concerned about Ryan and wanted to know how he was doing. We met the two young men who had given Ryan CPR. One of the young men, James, was in the locker room when one of the kids from the class went into the locker room to call 911 -- I am assuming that the teacher's office (with a phone) is somewhere in there. Anyway-- James heard the call and thought, I know CPR-- but I'm sure that things are being taken care of. He said that during a critical situation, people are always told to stay back until the emergency is stabilized. But, he received a strong impression that he should go and see if he was needed. He dropped what he was doing and following the promptings. He got in the gym and saw that Ryan was blue and took over, performing CPR. Nick, was in or near the gym and ran over and begin assisting James. What a testimony of the power of our Heavenly Father. To make a long story short -- we felt better after talking with the kids -- and I think they did too. We then stopped in at the Rexburg emergency room to see "our friend" Mary and was able to meet the other nurses who were with Ryan in the emergency room that frightful day. They were very encourage about the progress which Ryan has made and were glad to get an update. We weren't able to meet the paramedics who were on call that day, but we received a very nice e-mail from the campus security officer who responded to the call. I'm am continually amazed at the kindness and concern which has been given and shown on Ryan's behalf. Dr. Marano (he is the neurosurgeon) came in today doing "rounds" and checked on Ryan. After asking the usual questions he took a 'torture device" (that's what Dr. Brand calls it) and ran it across the bottom of Ryan's foot and.........................................Ryan's leg twisted away (a reflex). We opened our eyes wide and looked at Dr. Marano and saw that his body language had livened up. He then ran it across his other foot and got the same response..... a reflex. He asked Ryan if he could feel it and he said a little. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then he tried other areas and nothing. He went back to his toes and squeezed them and his quad muscle responded, on both legs. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least in our minds. The doctor reminded us that it can just be a reflex and possibly no communication with the spinal cord...... but we are encouraged. Ryan ate more today then he has in the past couple of days. He is still somewhat discouraged -- and rightly so -- we are trying to understand how he feels. I don't believe that we ever will; his world has been shattered, but I believe that he has the strength and faith to get thru this. He realizes that this will be a long road -- but he knows that the Lord can heal the sick and afflicted. The doctors have talked with us about a rehabilitation center (I sometimes pinch myself and ask if this is really happening!). A couple of days ago, they asked what would be convenient for us; Southern California, Texas or Colorado have good facilities. We told them that Southern California might be good, because I (Terry) have a sister out there that could help us. Well last night and today they have talked to us about the sites, doing comparisons, and we told them that we were not concerned about our convenience, but we wanted the best for Ryan. The docs here in Idaho Falls are suggesting going to the Craig Hospital in Englewood, near Denver. We have talked to several professionals, that we know, and Dr. Brand told us yesterday that she called a couple of her neurosurgeon contacts and let us know that they were recommending Craig as well. All those we have talked with say that the Craig facility is the "Mayo" clinic for spinal cord injuries. So, we probably will be heading to Denver sometime the first of next week. It will be dependent on an "on site" consultation from docs with Craig -- we will be visiting with them later this week. We have read a little about this facility, via the internet, and feel good about this move. Once again, we are so blessed to have family and friends like you. We have received numerous e-mails giving us support and expressing concerns about Ryan. There are no words to express our thanks and love. We pray that the Lord will bless each of you and your families. Love Dean, Terry and Ryan

Blinking

Well, I will attempt to write a few thoughts and update you on our day. First of all we would like to express our sincere appreciation for all of the support that we have received. You are probably tired of hearing about that but it is truly amazing the people that Ryan has touched. Earlier today we received a visit from Dr. Brand from the Madison Hospital in Rexburg where Ryan was first attended to after his accident. Dr. Brand was the attending physician and was in charge of the code blue when Ryan first came in. She said that Ryan has been on their minds since last Wednesday and were anxious to get an update and see how he was doing. (Can anyone of you tell me of another doctor anywhere that would travel 30 miles and check up on a patient that had been in her care for a couple of hours?) It was great to meet her and feel of her concern and the other members of that facility. Terry suggested that I tell the cell phone story, so here goes... "The call" came Wednesday morning around 9:30 - 10:00 a.m. Terry was at work, when Dr. Brand called Terry on her cell phone to inform us of the accident. We immediately made arrangements to come to Idaho. Thanks to the generosity of a partner at work we were able to use his plane and arrived in Idaho Falls around 3:30 that afternoon. For two days we could not figure out how they found the number to her cell phone. The college where Ryan was attending school had called us on our home phone to inform us of the accident and had our home address but did not have a contact number at work. So for two days we inquired with numerous individuals but no one was able to solve that puzzle for us. A couple of days after the accident (I think the time line in our lives will now and forever be measured by THE ACCIDENT), we had a visitor come here to meet us by the name of Mary Zollinger. She is the director (I think) of the emergency room there at Madison. She told us the following story. When Ryan came into the ER he was concise and fairly alert considering the injury that had just occurred to him. Mary was desperate to make his family aware of the tragedy as soon as possible. She ask him if he had any family in the area and he blinked no. (One blink = yes / two blinks = no). Did he have a close friend in the area = no. Did he have a cell phone = no? etc. With dead end after dead end she was determined to find someone that she could contact. Finally she asked him if he knew a cell phone number that she could call = yes. She had another nurse come over and act as scribe while she and Ryan attempted this basic form of communication. Remember that Ryan is paralyzed from the neck down. She told him that she would call out numbers and when she had the right one for him to blink. So she began 0,1,2,3,4,5,6 and so on until he blinked. Ok good they got the first number. As she proceeded she thought to herself what are the chances that they could pull this off and get all ten numbers in the right order. Now remember that we have a code blue going on here and I am sure it wasn't exactly quite around there. After she got the number Mary dialed the number and handed it to Dr. Brand to make "the call". After they were successful, Mary went back into the room and with great relief told Ryan that they had been able to pull off the impossible and make the call. Ryan looked up at her, smiled and gave her one of his signature winks. What an amazing guy that during this type of ordeal that he was able to connect and make a difference in just one more person's life. Mary said she went home that night in shock at this remarkable young man. We will forever be grateful to Mary, Dr. Brand and the many others that have had a part of Ryan's life. Today we also had a phone call from President Johnson, one of his Mission Presidents while he was on his mission in the Philippines. We were able to hold a portable phone up to his ear and let him listen to him. What a wonderful experience for us to have so many people that have a such a positive impact in Ryan's life to take time out their busy lives to bless us with they messages of inspiration and support. Ryan is going through a challenging time right now. There is so much going on around him that he has no control of. It must be hard to have so many people poking, prodding, checking, pushing, shoving, etc. etc. etc..... and he has no say in any of it (literally, he has no say.) The nurses warned us that most patients go thorough some type of depression and Ryan is experiencing his share. He has always been very concerned about his appearance and I am sure that it must be very humbling. Also I think he is beginning to realize what a life changing experience he has had. What really happened? What will this mean today, tomorrow and just what kind of future will I have? Where am I going from here? We are still pleased to have visitors, but we hope you understand that Ryan is our foremost concern and we will bring you into the room when it is appropriate for Ryan. Also if you have questions we will try and answer them, but lets do it in the hall or in the waiting room. Ryan is dealing with allot of things right now and we don't want to treat him like a science project. Ryan is "breathing" on his own today which continues to be encouraging news. He is still able to eat a little. He doesn't feel like eating but they are trying to encourage him to assist in the healing process. The more functions that his body can take over the better it is. We are having some internet problems -- so we will write more tomorrow. Love, Dean, Terry and Ryan

School newspaper article

The Scroll, BYU-I had an article in the school paper about Ryan. You can read it here.

Ups and Downs

We had an up - down day today, the good news, Ryan was breathing on his own ALL day today. They are going to put him back on the ventilator tonight so that he can get some rest. Other good news, he was complaining about his stomach and chest hurting most of the day. I know, most times that would not be good news -- but in this case, the neurosurgeon said that a paralyzed person shouldn't be able to feel anything!!!! The down side, he is realizing the long road ahead!! The docs talked a little bit about rehab centers -- but nothing worth printing. But Ryan is getting the picture that this is going to be a long road. He won't look at us -- and tonight he would only blink his eyes, rather than mouth words. I have decided that I don't like "shift" changes. We have a different "critical doctor" which is on the floor -- and so we had to start over as far as his relaying to us Ryan's condition -- we heard the Christopher Reeves story again. It made me feel that we hadn't made as much progress as I had thought. I was crying and the nurse came in and asked what was wrong, I told her what the doc had said, she said, you have to remember that some doctors have better bed side manners than others! I told Dean "this afternoon was my "crash" day" -- hopefully we won't have "crash" days all together. On the lighter side, Ryan had a visit from a missionary couple, Brother and Sister Daughs, from Pocatello, that had served with him in the Philippines San Pablo Mission. They had heard about Ryan and they then notified his Mission President, President Osmond, who is still serving in the Philippines. Shortly after they left, Ryan recieved a call from President Osmond! The nurses found a remote telephone (there are no phones in the rooms in ICU) and Dean brought the phone into Ryan so he could listen to his mission president. It was a great comfort to Ryan. A couple of thoughts I have had, when we were home and things were "normal" (we are going to have to redefine normal!!!) we would listen to the news and would hear about those groups or individuals who wanted to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance, off the dollar bill, out of the court houses or any government entity, etc., Thru this experince and feeling the support, love, and faith of ALL of our friends and family, it has strenghtened my testimony that there truly is a God and we can't take him out of anything. He is real, He will carry us in our times of trials and be by our side when life is still. I just can't thank all of you enough, we are experiencing miracles -- we have a long way to go, but thru our faith, and yours, we will overcome. Love to all, Dean, Terry & Ryan

Quantum Leaps

Dean and Terry have gone to Sacrament meeting in Ryan's Ward to thank his roommates and friends, Bishop and leaders etc. for all their love and support. They are gone for a couple of hours. It has been a very, very good day so far. This a.m. at 8:30 Ryan was taken off the ventilator for awhile and was able to breath for four hours on his own. His breathing is working very well, however because he spiked a high fever, they turned the ventilator back on to assist him on an as needed basis. The CCU doc felt like the probable reason for his fever was the exertion of breathing and just as a precaution and hopefully to help the fever come down they are giving him a rest. He does not see any sign of infection etc. as a cause for the fever, good news. Fevers will be a part of this journey. More good news, Ryan was able to eat a little this a.m. and they have ordered food for him starting tomorrow. Of course it will be soft, and start out very slowly, but another wonderful sign. The fact that he can swallow and use his diaphragm means that some communicating is getting past the C1 and C2 vertebrae. The neurologist, Dr. Morano, came in and was very, very, very (his adjectives) encouraged and said Ryan's breathing success is "a quantum leap". We feel all your prayers are being heard. Thank you. Some of Ryan's friends (from his ward) came by this morning and sang hymns and gave a thought. What a sharp looking group! It was so nice of them and cheered everyone. The support of everyone is so helpful and we appreciate every thought, prayer, message and word of encouragement. The nurses here are just terrific. One of them told Ryan this morning, "the doctor's have to tell you the worst that can happen. Don't listen to that. What happens is between only you and Heavenly Father." The last two days Ryan has been sleeping a lot more. His body has been through so much with all the "procedures" and they are often turning him, checking the respirator, sitting him up, checking this and that. The doc also said that the "messages" going up and down his spine can be very confusing to him (some real and some phantom) and even though he can do some of his own breathing and eating, it is very exhausting to him. The good news is that every gain is a victory and will stay with him. It is still very much a "wait and see" outcome, and will be a long haul. We had several family member and lots of friends check in on us this weekend. Our kids were able to come and see Ryan, and have made it home OK. We are grateful for that. Tristen (our grandson) was a champ -- we will miss him!!! I am sorry that we aren't getting back to everyone individually who has written or called, we are trying to make sure Ryan is taken care of first -- but PLEASE know we do get your messages and read everyone of them -- and TRULY appreciate them. Again, thanks for all your support and prayers. They have been heard! Love to all, Dean, Terry and Ryan

Deep Breaths

First, we TRULY appreciate all of your love and support. We have received so many e-mails and phone calls; it has really helped buoyed up our spirits to know that there are so many people who love and care for Ryan. We appreciate your continued prays. He is being so strong and brave thru all of this. He is the most positive kid. Mary, the emergency room director at the hospital in Rexburg came by and visited us today. After they had got him stabilized in the Rexburg ER and things had settle down a bit, she was telling him where he was and what they had done ect. She told him that they had been in contact with his mom and dad, he then smiled and winked at her. She said she has been in the ER for 20 years and no one melted her heart like Ryan. She then got him in the ambulance and sent him on to Idaho Falls; she called ahead and told them he was coming and then told them, as a mother, she wanted them to take good care of him because it was going to take some time for his family to get up here. She had been concerned, so she came by to see how he was doing. He has touched so many lives. He as had so many friends from BYU-I, old and young, that have come to visit and lend a helping hand. Yesterday and today they completed the halo, trach, feeding tube, "filter" (which was put in to prevent blood clots from getting into the lungs) and the semi-permanent IV procedures. He has been thru alot, but the doctors hope that these will be all of the procedures that they will have to do. He has obviously been sedated to do these procedures, and has been really tired, but the docs say he as done very well. Yesterday, he had a nurse that was Filipino (Ryan served his mission in the Philippines) and was able to mouth Tagalog with her. It made his day!! Not too many people know Tagalog! He is going to start with some of the therapy (speech, occupational, physical, and one other one I can't remember) tonight and tomorrow. We had a few ups and downs today, the occupational therapist was seeing what range of motion he had and while raising his right arm over his head, it triggered some built up fluids to mobilize and shut off the ventilator (I guess that is how it is supposed to work???). Anyway, Ryan didn't have any air, they had to get a "bag" ventilator and couldn't get that to work so there was a Code Blue -- there were about 20 nurses/docs in his room in a matter of seconds. They were able to get air into his lungs again and all was OK.-- it was sure scary for a few minutes. Then, the good news. Later in the day, the doc came in and did some breathing tests. They want to see if he can breath on his own at all. The doc told Ryan that they were going to put the ventilator on "standby" mode (I would have panicked after the "Code Blue") and wanted him to take some deep breaths. He took one and then two. He was able to get range on the monitor and the doc called us outside and told us that he was really pleased. He was surprised that he was able to do as well as he did. We don't want to have false hopes, but we are hanging on to anything we can get! The kids got here safe last night -- about 2:00 am. Our office called and told us that one of our gas brokers lives here in Idaho Falls; the office had contacted him, he lives about three blocks from the hospital and he opened up his home to the kids. It was really nice for our four month old grandbaby -- to have a place so close that his mom could take him over there when she needed -- but didn't feel like she was too far away. We work with some GREAT people. Alot of you have asked for his address. He is at the

Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center (EIRMC) Intensive Care Room #224 3100 Channing Way Idaho Falls, ID 83404

He is in the Level 1 Critical Care Center and they are very liberal with their visiting hours. The only time he can't have visitors is between 6:30 - 8:30 am and 6:30 - 8:30 pm. The doc said that he could have as many visitors as HE wants!! Alot have asked if they could or should come see him and when. He loves to have visitors. We will leave it up to you to make the decision as to when you would like to come, we'll just have to be careful that he gets enough rest!!!! BYU-I has pretty high standards, one of which is the boys can't have facial hair. Ryan hasn't been able to shave! He asked the nurse tonight if he could shave, because he wouldn't be allow on campus looking like he does! He loves the scriptures and wants to continue he daily scripture reading of the Book of Mormon, so he has asked us to read to him each night. Bishop Speelmon, his current bishop, called him Tuesday night (the night before the accident) to be the Executive Secretary in the Bishopric, Ryan was so excited -- he loves to serve the Lord. The Stake President (who also interviewed Ryan Tuesday night) visited with us and told us that Bishop Speelmon asked if he could go ahead and sustain Ryan this Sunday -- the Stake President said he thought about that and was impressed with the Bishop's inspiration and told him to go ahead and sustain him. The Bishop told us he would call Ryan an assistant to help him right now. Bishop Speelmon has been thru his own personal struggles, he lost a son to MD at the age of 17 and he has two grandchildren who have been diagnosed the MD, as well as his wife. He said that it is important to help these kids feel that things are "normal" and they will continue to be a part of life. Again, we thank you for your prayers -- we still need them -- he has a long way to go. All of you have asked what you can do to help -- right know we are just in a "holding pattern" so there is not much anyone can do other than wait-- but believe me we do feel of your love and concern. We just want you to also know that if we don't get a phone call returned, it isn't because we don't want to, we are just trying to keep up with all that is happening in Ryan's room. They want us to help with some of the tasks -- it frightens both me and Ryan!!! Dean always said, when our kids were little, if they are not bleeding, their not hurt! I don't think that applies anymore. We are trying to make the necessary adjustments!! Love Dean & Terry

Initial Details

Hi to all family and friends, I felt like this was a good way to get the word out about Ryan -- so many of you have called and asked about him. It is 2:30 am, I can't sleep, so I thought I would send an e-mail to let all know what is going on with Ryan. as most of you know, he had a devastating accident. He was in his basketball class at BYU-Idaho, and they were running "suicides" they call them ladders up here! Anyway, he tripped or his knee gave out or something and he hit is head on a concrete wall -- I think the wall had some padding -- but not enough! He fractured the C1 & C2 vertebrae and is paralyzed from the neck down. The doctors tell us it is very similar to the injury Christopher Reeves had. He was knocked out and wasn't breathing; some of the kids in the class started CPR and revived him while waiting on the ambulance. He was transported to the emergency room in Rexburg, Id and then moved to Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center in Idaho Falls. He was unconscious for awhile; the doc said that some of that could have been from the meds they gave him to sedate him to keep him still. When we got here, about 4:00 p.m., he was alert and wanted to talk, however, he has a ventilator down his throat so he can't do that very well. He doesn't know the extent of the injury as of yet--the doc wants to wait until his body has had time to "comprehend" what is going on. The doc said that the prognosis is not real good; most people that have this kind of injury don't come out of it. He did give us a little bit of hope -- they won't know the extent of the injury for a couple of days, until the swelling goes down and then they can see the spinal cord and tell what kind of damage there actually has been. We are hanging on to that little bit of hope. Tomorrow (or today) they are going to put what they call a "halo" on his head, it is a metal apparatus that they will drill into his skull and then he will wear a jacket so he can't move -- the doc said that it will take about four months for the vertebrae to fuse back together or heal. He said that they could do surgery, but would only be able to fuse the C2 vertebrae because there is nothing to fuse the C1 vertebrae to, other than his skull, and then he won't have what ever mobility he will gain thru the next couple of weeks. He would also run the risks associated with surgery near the spinal cord. They will put a feeding tube thru the lining of his tummy in the next couple of days so he can eat, and then do a tracheostomy (sp) for breathing purposes. The nerve damage to the C1 and C2 effects the lungs and breathing... hopefully he will be able to communicate after some (or probably much) therapy to learn how to talk with a tube down is throat. He can mouth words now and we try to "read lips" --sometimes good -- sometimes not so good!! He has kept his sweet and happy spirit, I must have looked horrible, he asked me if I hadn't had my nap!!! We appreciate all of your faith, hope and prayers, we really need a miracle. We love you all and will try to keep you posted, my cell phone doesn't work to well in the ICU, but I do get your messages. The college has been very supportive. His bishop, stake president, and the dean of students came by as well as the teacher who was in the class -- his teacher is also devastated -- and some of the kids in the class are having a hard time. The dean of students (I can't remember his name tonight, I will get them all straight over the next few weeks i'm sure) anyway, he said that they were going to have school counselors come into the class room and talk to the kids -- we told him that if it would help, we would be glad to talk to the kids and let them know that we are TRUELY GREATFULL to them for reviving him and seeing that he got to the hospital as soon as he did. Our other kids are going to try and come up here tomorrow -- obviously it is a struggle being so far away. Scott (going to UNM) has finals next week so it is going to be a hurried trip -- I asked the docs tonight if it was a good idea to have them come -- he said that Ryan had told him about his family -- he thought that it would be good for Ryan to see them. Dean and I are doing OK. We are kind of numb right now -- this is going to be a long process -- but again, we are hoping and praying that Ryan will be among the few that have full recovery. We can only hope. We feel your prayers and I know that the angels in heaven are watching over us. If you would like to send him a message, please send it to Ryan's new blog email address. I hope that this makes sense; I need some sleep so I don't scare Ryan!!! Love to all. Dean & Terry