Giving

We are truly blessed. As hard as this holiday season has been, we find comfort in a loving family and many many blessed friends. We are so fortunate to have so many “giving” folks in our lives; we have been the recipient of the goodness, kindness and generosity of so many, which has been a very different Christmas for us. Santa, as usual, was very good. Among other things, he brought Ryan a new lap top computer, via the William Lang Foundation.

Established in 1989, the (William Lang) nonprofit foundation is dedicated to improving the quality of life of those suffering Spinal Cord Injury (SCI). Foundation resources are also used to fund research and practical therapies toward the cure for SCI.

"The onset of paralysis triggers both physical and emotional upheaval. Coping with the loss of movement, coupled with being dependent on others for their daily living is devastating. Every SCI individual undergoes transformations, sometimes completely making over their life goals. Employment opportunities are problematic. Relationships with all family, friends and acquaintances are reevaluated and made over based upon each individual's response to the injured, and their new physiological makeup. Adding to these challenges is the enormous expenses incurred, just to provide any kind of quality of life to the afflicted. The main goal of the foundation is to return purpose, motivation and an improved quality of life to the paralyzed. We, as caring human beings, can and must provide the tools to help the unfortunate." - Billy Lang

We are so grateful to those who thru life changing circumstances have chosen to help others that find themselves in the same situation. We truly hope that at some point we will be able to repay those efforts.

We took a ride on the Polar Express! The Durango/Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad took us to the “North Pole” where Santa greeted us and handed out sleigh bells. When we made the reservations we conveyed our need to have wheelchair access to the railcar. We told the reservation agent that Ryan’s chair was just like Christopher Reeve’s chair. We have found that it helps to give a visual as to what his chair is like; being that almost everyone knows Christopher Reeve, that is a good comparison. After a long wait of being placed on “hold” we were told that there would be no problem; the train would be able to accommodate us. We are always a little skeptical when we are told that access is available; however, when we got there we were pleasantly surprised. They had a lift, albeit somewhat rusty, and Ryan was able to “load.” Because the railcar windows are so high, Ryan was able to see out rather well. As the train made its way to the “North Pole” we listened to the story of the Polar Express, ate cookies, drank hot chocolate and then on the way back home, sang Christmas carols. There wasn’t any snow, but it was fun to see all the Christmas lights along the way. The “North Pole” is awesome for those who haven’t been there!!

Ryan started running a fever late Friday night and wasn’t feeling well. I think that he has some congestion in his lungs and has had for some time but because of the antibiotics for the UTI the possible lung infection has been masked. His fever reached 101.7° again; we continued to monitor it as it fluctuated between 100° and 101° finally dropping this afternoon. After opening up his presents, then attending Sacrament Meeting he couldn’t do much more and went back to bed around 3:00pm. He hasn’t had a fever this evening, but still doesn’t feel good. We hope tomorrow will be a better day!!

We hope that he gets to feeling better as we have planned to go down to Gallup for a couple of days – if he is up to it. It will be good to have a change of scenery and see our family down there.

We are so grateful to our Savior; his birth and his atoning sacrifice for each one of us. As you may have read from the last blog, Ryan’s testimony is strong. It took him several days to write that blog, as he became very emotional several times. He is getting better and better at using the voice recognition software. We have also just learned of a “speaking valve” that may help his voice; we are going to be talking to a physician about that after the first of the year. Even though he has “bad” days, his outlook on this injury is unbelievable. He is such a strength to us.

We love you all and wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed and Happy New Year.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

From Ryan

To all friends and family:

    This is my first time in writing the blog. So please excuse the different writing style :-). I just want to thank everyone that has been a part of my story from the beginning, middle, or just joining. Know that I think about you and love you.

    I just finished reading the Book of Mormon; how remarkable it is to be able to learn from the Prophets of the Lord. Each time I read the Book of Mormon I learn something new. This time, I had a different focus. I was focusing on the faith, hope, and the mercies of Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. It is always fun to see the different perspectives as we read from that great book. I’ve preached its truth, I know it's true, and it can change lives. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to full-time teach of its truth, and how it can change people's lives. My Bishop, Bishop Meldrum, brought that tender mercy to my attention. If my accident had happened a few years earlier, I would not have been able to serve my Savior. I'm so glad that I was able to spend two full years in teaching the Filipino people about what I love and know to be true. What a "tender mercy!"

    I'm also trying to finish reading the November Conference talks in the Ensign to learn more about what the modern prophets want us to do. I am so thankful for so many ways in which to learn about Christ. We have not been left to fend for ourselves. Heavenly Father has provided so many ways in which we can learn to become like Him and return to Him. It is amazing the different avenues of which we can learn; both from prophets of old and our living prophets today. What another, "tender mercy" of the Lord.

    Yet another "tender mercy" is one quite humorous. While in the hospital, I was given many shots. I was prodded, poked, and scarred. However, I did not feel any of these, which is good. I hate getting shots!

    It has been a rough seven months. However, I know that through the love of many of you, the Savior, my family, and my Heavenly Father, I will do this. I felt many times, the "hand of the Lord" in this trial. He has buoyed me up, helped me, and given me comfort in the darkest of times. I know He is there, that He knows each and every one of us and our trials.

    It was interesting at the hospital, how much ahead I was of the other patients. Not in injury per se, but in my attitude, in the knowledge I have of the eternal perspective, and in knowing that the Savior knew me. It was amazing to me to see the difference in attitudes among the different patients. Some were bitter, mad, crying all the time, kept in the rooms, or just plain indifferent. Of course I've felt like crying all the time, sometimes mad or just plain indifferent; however, my attitude has been aided through the knowledge of the plan of salvation. My knowledge that my Savior did not do this to me, but has allowed it to happen in order to fulfill His purpose has sustained me.

    I would still like to thank each and every one of you who has thought about me, written me, prayed for me, and cared for me and my family. I wish I could respond to every e-mail, prayer and thought. I appreciate, and words cannot describe, how much you all have done for my family and me. Thank you all!

Love,

Ryan Lee Griffin

Packages Under the Tree

Well, Ryan’s on another antibiotic. He still has infection in his system. The laboratory has cultured the samples and the Doctor has prescribed meds to target the specific bacteria; but, then with the next lab analysis something else pops up!! Hopefully we are going to get past this; although, bladder infections are the #1 complication with spinal cord injuries. We will keep a close watch.

We learned today that our Doctor is leaving for two weeks for the Christmas holiday. How dare she!!! We are a little nervous, however with any luck will be ok! She did ease our minds when she told us that her assistant would be able to get a hold of her if necessary. Actually, we do hope that we don’t have to bother her!

Ryan had a pretty rough night last night. He complained of his arms hurting all afternoon and kept asking to have them ranged and moved to different positions. About 7:00pm he really started hurting and it didn’t let up until about 2:00am. Sometimes we are at a loss as to what to do to help him. Last night was the first time he sobbed because he was in so much pain. We moved him, stretched him, cried with him, moved him, prayed with him, prayed for him, moved him, Dean gave him a blessing (one of many) and finally he got some relief. This injury is so unbelievable. There is no explanation for any of it. It is so hard for Dean and I to see him go thru so much; even though he struggles, we are so glad that he is here and we can try to help him.

He was supposed to have his tracheostomy tube changed out last week. We have been awaiting the new tubes that are a different type, which were to be delivered today. We scheduled another Doctor appointment for this morning to have the change made, but the tubes still haven’t arrived. I have called the freight company and supplier every other day trying to figure out where the package is. Last night I went on-line to track the package and found that it was actually in Farmington, so I contacted the call center for the freight company and the gentleman relayed an “urgent” message to the Farmington office. I was told that the Farmington office would try to call me by about 8:30am. I hadn’t heard anything by 9:00am so I went down to the freight company’s warehouse to see if I could pick up the package. Not!! Their warehouse looked like the North Pole!! I couldn’t believe all the packages waiting for delivery to be placed under someone’s Christmas tree. Santa has been busy!! Needless to say, I didn’t get the package! It isn’t critical, so we will wait for Santa’s helpers to bring it by!!

Ryan had another rough day, mentally. He said he is really frustrated just sitting in his chair all day long, “All I want to do is to run and play basketball… I just want to be normal.” I told him that we may have to redefine “normal.” We talked about, among other things, how when we die our body goes to dust and all we take with us is what we have learned while we are here on this earth; so maybe our trial isn’t the injury, but how we adapt and use our minds and intellect to gain more knowledge and wisdom.

We will continue to pray for guidance. We are all going thru a “growing and learning” experience. It is hard for Dean and me to see Ryan in this situation, but it is as hard, or harder, for Ryan to see us trying to deal with all that is happening. We do count our blessings as well, as Ryan has said, “they are many.” He did smile before he went to bed tonight and that helps us sleep better!!

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Health

Ryan is feeling better physically. Tomorrow morning he will have some lab work done to see if the UTI is cleared up. We are keeping our fingers crossed!! Friday we paid a visit to his doctor to go over his medications to see if we could decrease or stop taking some altogether. He takes fourteen different medications regularly and up to seventeen on an as needed basis. We were able to quit talking one drug altogether, reduce two drugs to only once a day – but we had to keep the rest. He is on some pretty strong pain medication; we tried to reduce the dosage while at Craig, but found that he wasn’t ready to do that yet. He is a little afraid to try that again; it was a pretty rough couple of days when he tired it before, so the doctor suggested to wait a little bit longer and see how he does.

Since we have been home we have been trying to eat better. After the first month at Craig, Ryan got tired of the hospital food so we would “eat out” a lot. Dean or I would take his order and go to his favorite “fast food” restaurant, for that day, and pick up something to eat. After five months not only did we get tired of the hospital food, we got tired of “fast food”. I have been trying to make “healthy” meals for the last couple of months but Ryan’s “system” is having a hard time getting used to my cooking!! During our visit to the doctor, we told her about his eating habits over the last several months and how Ryan is having a hard time adjusting. She gave us all the medical reasoning as to why we needed to continue to eat healthy and then she added, “But maybe he could use a greasy ______ every once in a while!” Ryan was grateful!!

For some reason he has had a tough weekend both mentally and emotionally. We wish he didn’t have to deal with the “grownup” world so early in his life. We have lots of decisions to make, where to live, finding work, schooling, finding new insurance, new doctors, new healthcare givers, new social programs, etc. etc., and he feels totally responsible. We are trying to help him understand that he is not responsible, just in integral part of the whole process and how he has helped us look deep within to figure out what this life is really all about. We know in our hearts that all will work out, but some moments it is difficult at best to get thru the day.

We are so grateful to our friends and family who continue to make each day a little brighter. We know of so many others that are facing challenges and hardships, we pray for each of you.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Five Times a Day

Sunday night I played catch-up on some e-mails and talked about how we are learning to tell how Ryan feels by the way he looks. However, sometimes it’s hard to tell because he is sooo good looking!! Only a mother!! Ryan has been looking really healthy for several days, but boy when he takes a dive, he takes a dive. Sunday, as the afternoon wore on, he got quieter and quieter. He had been cold all day, but after we got home from church, he was freezing. We were glad the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional was on satellite so we could watch it at home. The weather has been “bone-chilling” cold here in Farmington (tonight, with wind chill, it was 4°). Even though Ryan can’t “feel” hot or cold, he seems to be freezing all of the time. He is found most times bundled up in a blanket or blankets. Later Sunday night he started running a fever, starting at 99.5° and going up to 101.3°. We took all the covers off and turned the fan on and waited; his temp finally came back down to the normal range.

He has had a urinary tract infection and has been on four different antibiotics for about six weeks. We were hoping he was getting past it, but now we are not so sure. Monday and Tuesday nights he also ran a fever, reaching 101.7°. We have been told that we really need to start worrying when his temperature reaches 102°. Since Sunday we have had to suction him a little more each day, so we’re not sure if it is the UTI, a virus, or respiratory problems. We hope and fervently pray that he can overcome whatever it is.

He had a wonderful visit from his favorite person; Meredith! She was able to come and spend the weekend with him. Ryan made Meredith drive the van and take him to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. She was quite nervous about driving him, but he said she did great – and “really, it’s not that hard!!” I’m with Meredith; he doesn’t know how nerve racking it really is. When they got back, I asked if he had knocked over any racks – he said, “Only one at Radio Shack” then chuckled! They kicked Dean and me out both Friday and Saturday night – for date night! It was nice to get away for a little bit. We have all the confidence in the world in Meredith, she learned as much as we did while at Craig; because of her age and being able to absorb more than us old people she probably understands all of this a whole lot better than we do too. I just wish I could quit worrying!

We received a letter from our Disabled and Elderly Waiver Case Manager telling us that the LPN and nursing hours were not approved by the NM-BCBS Utilization Review Board. Because Ryan is on a ventilator, state regulations require a Nurse or an LPN to do all the care associated with the vent (i.e., changing out the bedside vent circuitry to the wheelchair vent, trach cleaning care, suctioning, blood work, lab work, etc.), a certified nurses assistant (CNA) can do the bowel and bladder program; however, a homemaker can only do housekeeping duties (i.e., changing sheets, cleaning baths/showers, transferring patients, etc.). We were told, in the letter, that because the LPN and nursing hours were not approved we needed to select a company that does the B/B program. The only B/B Company in the area is out of Gallup – 120 miles away!! So, it seemed to me that we would have one person here taking care of the nursing duties, one person taking care of the CNA duties, and two homemakers to transfer (there has to be two people to transfer) and cleanup because CNAs and the LPNs/Nurses according to state regulations can’t do transfers.

My assessment was correct! I had to make my concerns known (I can’t just let things go) so I dialed up the Directors office for the D&E Wavier Program and spoke with one of the administrators and gave her a run down of Ryan’s’ injury and the care he was currently getting and what it all entailed. After a lengthy discussion, I asked the person on the other end of the line if she knew the #1 killer of SCI patients. Answer: Bladder infections. I told her that he needed an LPN or nurse to care for him because they had had the training to detect when things were wrong where a person who was trained for ten hours to do the B/B program wasn’t and Ryan was just beginning to feel like he had some consistency in his care and not only was the physical care important, but the mental, emotional and psychological side of this injury was just as important, if not more important. I requested that the LPN/Nursing hours be approved so that there weren’t any unnecessary interruptions in his care or state of mind. After we finished discussing Ryan’s case, she said that the reason for the denial of hours was most likely due to “incorrect wording” in the proposal and she would get in touch with Ryan’s case manager and review his case and get back with us. We’ll see; we are hoping for a favorable outcome!!

Ryan got his braces on!! Dean told him that he looked “younger” with braces and he frankly stated, “I know!” We are learning how to use the “wax” again. He had to chew soft foods for a couple of days. When he came in from the dentist, he had a letter with a very long list of “all” the things we needed to do to care for braces. One of which is to brush the teeth five – yes five times a day. I wonder who is going to do that??? It won’t be my fault if once his teeth are straight, they all fall out!!

Our little grandbaby has been sick too (double ear infection and croup), he hasn’t been able to come over the last several days. He and Ryan are going to have to quit sharing kisses!! We are learning that “good” health is such a blessing. Even though Ryan can’t feel his body, it is truly a blessing when he feels good! I talked to one of my friends from Craig (her 17 year old son was there) the other day and she said, “I never dreamed I would think a blessing would be a wheelchair!” Even though we have had a rough year, we do have many things to be thankful for, a wheelchair and a van – to take Ryan to the mall. Can you believe he wanted to go to the mall!!

We love you all, thanks so much for the continued love and support – it makes each day a little brighter.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Letter from Tristen

Dear Uncle Ryan,

I wanted to write you a letter and tell you my mom and dad told me that we are going to move to Gallup the first of the year. I made a big fuss and told them I wanted to stay here so I could see you everyday, but they told me I had to go with them. I know I’m little, but one of these days maybe they will listen to me. Grandma said I could stay and live with you, but mom said, “No.” Grandma said she is going to miss my mom, too.

I like it when you take me for rides on your wheelchair. Grandma doesn’t think that I can “stay put” so she keeps following us around, one of these days we will have to take-off while she is not looking and go for a ride outside. I am sorry that I scratched your nose and pulled on that thing in your throat. You said it was “OK,” but I know that it hurt cause you had a funny look on your face. Mom says that I can’t pull on that, or the hose that goes from your throat to the wheelchair; everybody yells at me when I crawl over and get too close to them. I will try to be nice and do what my mommy says. Let’s take more rides, 'K'.

It is really fun to see you in your swing; Grandpa says it is called a lift and you sit in what he calls a sling. I don’t even have a swing yet. When we move to Gallup, I am going to ask my daddy for one so I can be just like you. You get to use your swing inside; mine will probably have to be outside in the yard. I like to watch when those ladies put you in your swing and take you from your bed to the mat grandpa-great built you. Oh, by the way, it is fun to play on when you are not using it. If I learn to not pull on the hose and that thing in your throat, Mom says maybe I can get on the mat when you are on it and play with you.

I like to watch mom and grandma stretch your legs and arms too. My daddy does that to me, but he always tickles my tummy and throws me into the air when he does it. Why don’t they throw you into the air and tickle you? Maybe its cause your tummy would get upset. My tummy gets upset sometimes and then I hurl my breakfast or lunch, daddy doesn’t like that!

I am glad I am your buddy, cause you tell grandma to give me a little piece of your donut when my mom isn’t looking. Everyday when we get into the truck to come to your house I hope that you will tell grandma to go get you some donuts, so that I can have another bite; they are yummy. Mom says chocolate isn’t good for me, I’m glad that you let me try new things. Grandma sure does eat a lot of it, for it not to be good for you! Those strained carrots and green beans and bananas get old after awhile. Mom keeps showing me the picture of the baby on the bottle and says that he eats his fruits and vegetables. People tell me that I look like that baby; I think they call him the Gerber baby. Wouldn’t it be fun to have my picture on a jar of baby food? Maybe I could sit on your lap when you are in your wheelchair and we could both be in the picture.

The other day, dad left the front door open and I thought it would be fun to go outside and see what he was doing. I didn’t know that the front porch had steps, I fell on my head. I had a big bruise for a couple of days. Mom said that you hit your head too. You must have hit it really hard! My daddy built a ramp from the driveway up to the front door so it will be easier for me to get outside and not get hurt. Except, he told me that it wasn’t for me, it is for you. He said I couldn’t use it unless somebody was helping me. How come we can’t do things by ourselves? When you came to my house and used the ramp, everyone was standing around telling you what to do. Do you like it when people always tell you what to do? We need to talk about that sometime. I was glad that you could come to my house. I bet daddy will build a ramp at my new house, so you can come to Gallup to see my new bedroom.

Friday after you went to the dentist, I saw when you smiled that you had shiny things on your teeth. Grandpa said you got braces. I saw that dentist come to your house and look in your mouth; I thought he was just looking at your smile! He is pretty awesome to come to your house to look at your teeth. You sure do have lots of people come to see you. Mom said that in a couple of months you will have straight teeth again. Do those shiny things hurt? I am getting another tooth and when I get fussy, mom puts that baby ora-gel on it. That stuff is gross. Sometimes she gets it all over my lips and I can’t feel anything. I hope you don’t have to use that yucky stuff!

Grandpa said that he was going to get a Christmas tree this weekend so we could decorate it at Family Home Evening, Monday night. We are going to have so much fun. I heard Grandma tell my mom that it was really hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year and that she didn’t even want to decorate. From what I hear all the big people talk about, grandma and grandpa have had a lot to think about this year. My mom told grandma she would help get the decorations and lights and stuff out. I hope grandma lets her help so I can play in the ornament box. You can tell them where to put the lights and the angel on the tree. This is my first Christmas, so I am really excited to help. Mom says that this will be kind of a “first” Christmas for you too, cause of your new chair. I think your chair is pretty cool, especially when you take me for rides. We’ll just have to make it an amazing “first” Christmas for both of us!

Well, dad says I have to get ready for bed. I know that we are going to move lots of miles away, but I will make my mom and dad come to see you and you will have to make grandpa and grandma take you to see me. Grandma is teaching me how to “blow” kisses. When I get it figured out, I will blow kisses to you and then I won’t hurt your braces. I love you, Uncle Ryan; I want to be just like you when I get bigger.

Love,

Tristen Ryan Robbins

I Love Technology

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. Geralyn is a great cook – we had to rearrange all of the furniture to get everyone around the table, but it was well worth it as we laughed and carried on, reminiscing about “old-times.”

Rearranging the furniture made it possible to get Ryan in his standing frame as well. We are learning that all of the equipment that is available to Ryan is innovative and ultimately will aid in his recovery; but, we have to be creative in getting all the different pieces to work together. The lift we use to transfer Ryan has a leg span of two to three and a-half feet; with the castors, the legs are five inches off the ground. The legs don’t spread far enough apart to allow us to put Ryan into the standing frame seat so Steve stood behind the standing frame, tilting it back, while Dean and Michelle maneuvered the lift, with Ryan in the sling, to a position which allowed him to get far enough back into the seat. Steve got tired of holding the standing frame so he set it on the legs of the lift. Once we got Ryan situated in the seat, Steve tilted the frame again and Dean moved the lift out of the way. It was quiet a sight to see.

When Ryan stood in the standing frame at Craig, he almost passed out so we were a little bit leery about raising him too fast – but were ready in the event he decided to “check out!” He didn’t. We raised him to his 6’4” height plus an additional six inches for the frame – he was looking down on all of us! He stood up for about 20 minutes then said, “Ok, that’s enough, put me down!” After we got him back to his chair he stated, “That felt good!” We hope to help him “stand-up” a couple of times a week – and hopefully we will get better at it – so it won’t take the whole family!!

We had a house full of family over the weekend as well. Mike and Marshall and some of their kids were able to come up and visit on Saturday. Some of the kids we hadn’t seen for several months so it was good to see them – since there were two new babies to admire. Ashley, Mike’s daughter, had returned from her mission to the Philippines in August. Ryan hadn’t seen her since she got home so it was fun for them to talk about memories of the Philippines; using the Filipino native language, Tagalog, a little bit.

Scott, Ryan’s older brother, and his wife Becky were also able to come for the weekend and went to church with us. We use a heavy duty lift, which is installed in the side door of the van, to get Ryan in and out. When Ryan exits the van, the lift unfolds and he drives his chair onto the lift platform and then it is lowered to the ground. The lift also has a “flap” on the front of it that remains upright and locked to prevent the wheelchair from “rolling” off while lowering or raising it and plummeting to the ground. Once the lift hits a hard surface, the flap unlocks and folds down allowing the driver to exit the platform. The lift also has a “lip” (about 2”s high) on each side to try and keep the wheelchair and its driver on the platform and safe!! Scott and I were “helping” to get Ryan out of the van; although we got to talking and laughing and neither of us was paying very close attention!! Ryan got a little to close to the right side lip and as he was driving off of the platform, his right back tire rubbed against the lip and then started climbing it. He continued on and climbed the three inch latch that locks the flap in place when loading and unloading. When the back tire reached the top of the latch the front left tire was then airborne and he starting tipping to the left, almost falling to the ground. He got our attention, when Scott and I realized what was happening, Scott grabbed the handlebar closest to him and brought him right-side-up! I was standing on the left side of the chair and grabbed the handlebar closest to me and then put my knee out, thinking I could stop 650lbs from completely going to the ground!! It all happened so fast. After we got him back on all four wheels and the color came back into my face and I caught my breath, I looked at Ryan and he was laughing, asking “what happened, that was awesome!! I don’t know about this kid, he loves a thrill!! He talked about it for days – and I kept showing him my bruised knee.

It was bitter cold on Sunday so when we got home, I climbed into the back of the van between the front two seats and then between the wheelchair and the lift – which is a tight squeeze. As I was making my way to the back, Ryan said, “Mom, think skinny!” I must have given him a sharp look, because he gave me his big smile and said, “Just kidding!” He is so fun sometimes!!

Ryan’s mission president, President Johnson, and his lovely wife flew into see Ryan Sunday night. What a blessing they have been in our lives. We had a wonderful visit Sunday night. President Johnson had sent slides of the Philippines prior to them coming and so Monday we got to see and hear all about their missions; hearing them recall the same areas, remember missionaries and members or new converts, talk about the growth of the church in that area of the world, etc. It was fun for Dean and I to see how much Ryan loved his mission and how he had grown to love President and Sister Johnson and the Filipino people. Most importantly, he said that President Johnson had given him the best gift, a love for the Book of Mormon.

Tuesday and Wednesday we had another wonderful visitor, one of Ryan’s Bishops from BYU-Idaho. Bishop Parker and his daughter came thru Farmington and were gracious enough to take the time to stop and see Ryan. Bishop Parker, as President Johnson, has been such a strength to Ryan during this trying time. Ryan and Bishop Parker reminisced about mutual friends and carried on about different activities that they had been involved in while Ryan was at school.

It was great to visit with these two fine men and hear their encouraging words, their advice, their help in sorting thru some of the issues we have to deal with and their undying love and support for Ryan. It has been an exhilarating couple of days.

While we were at Craig, we learned that we are not a “fiber” family! We are learning to incorporate more fruits, vegetables, rice, whole grains, etc., into our diet; we are trying to get past the hamburgers and donuts!! Last night I was trying to get Ryan to drink a Pear Nectar drink; he tightened up his lips and scrunched his eyes closed and shook his head, “No!” Dean plugged his nose and we all started laughing. I said, “Do you think that is really going to make a difference?” Ryan couldn’t quit laughing while reminding us that he doesn’t use his nose or mouth to breath!! After much persuasion, he drank the drink!! We do have fun times.

While we do have fun times, we do still struggle with government. We received a call today that some of the hours we submitted for the Disabled and Elderly Waiver were not approved – so we still battle the system!! We won’t bore you with the details.

We came in contact with a respiratory therapist in the area who was good enough to come by and make an assessment of what was happening with Ryan. It was comforting to hear that we are on the right track. The therapist made some minor suggestions to make things abit more efficient and sanitary to try and prevent any hospital visits, but all in all the therapist was quiet impressed with our setup.

While we don’t have a clue what we are doing, we are convinced that Ryan needs to be at home with people who love him and are genuinely concerned about him and his welfare. Some people have given their thoughts and opinions that we have “bitten off more than we can chew” and should put him into a nursing home or a 24/7 facility so that he would get the care he needs and then we would not be burdened by all of this. Ryan was horrified to hear that; we just don’t feel that that is even an option. I told Ryan that we would do everything in our power, utilizing the resources at our disposal and resources that may become available to us, or “go down try’n” to give him what he needs. He is such a joy to have around and although he is burdened with this injury, his outlook is amazing and his spirit is contagious.

We are so grateful for our blessings and for those who have kept him and us in their thoughts and prayers. He has made such an impact on so many people in his short life, we are so grateful for the packages, cards, e-mails, visits, etc., which he receives daily, expressing thoughts of encouragement and love and support. We couldn’t do this without that.

Love to all,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Good and Bad

Well, we have good news and bad news. The good news. Today Ryan’s standing frame came in. It is a very nice one and our son-in-law, Steve, was the guinea-pig in getting it set up. Steve is pretty much the same size and shape as Ryan – tall and skinny!! It was eye opening to get it set up; Steve would tell us where it hurt or when there was pressure on the knees, tail bone, hip bones, etc. etc. We really don’t realize how sensitive our body is, until we can’t feel it!! It will be really good for Ryan to “stretch” out -- right now, he gets to lie down or sit in his wheelchair. Standing will allow his organs to move into the correct position too!!

The bad news. Monday, Dean was informed by his partners that after 19 years of working together he would need to find another job the first of the year. Ryan took it pretty hard, he feels guilty and responsible for all that has happened in our lives over the last several months. He wouldn’t talk for a day or two; it will take time to digest and process this, but he is resilient and hopefully the Lord will open new doors for us. It seems when Ryan has low days, somebody, somewhere, somehow finds a way to touch our lives and help us to see the bright side. Ryan had a “heart attack” – thanks to some great people – that we don’t even know! He got an envelope full of construction paper hearts, – all sizes, from one inch to eight inches – with all sorts of kind words of love and encouragement. We thank you!!

We are grateful for this Thanksgiving weekend, as we do have many many blessing to be thankful for. We are grateful that Uncle Keith and Aunt Geralyn and their family made it here. Especially since Geralyn is going to cook Thanksgiving dinner!!

We are so thankful for all of the love and support that we have received during this trying time. As we begin this Holiday Season, we hope and pray that all have a Happy Thanksgiving and very Merry Christmas.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Murphy's Law

Two weeks ago, today, we went out to get in the van to go to church and the doors wouldn’t open with the keyless remote. I was able to unlock the doors with the keys, but still couldn’t unlock the side door with the automatic door locks. I finally figured out that the battery was dead. Dean was already at the church so I called him and told him the problem; he came home and jump started the van so that Ryan and I could go to church. We had problems over the next several days with the battery staying charged. We didn’t know if the “lift” was draining the battery or what the problem was. Thursday, we made an appointment with the Ford dealership and took it in and found that the battery was bad. After it was fixed, Dean went and picked it up and stopped on the way home to get gas. After filling the tank, he tried to start the van – with no luck. The battery seemed to be fine, but the engine wasn’t getting any gas. Dean had to have it towed to the dealership; the next morning he called to let them know that the van was there and there were still some problems. The dealership called a few hours later and said that the fuel pump was bad and needed to be replaced; they would have to order the parts so it wouldn’t be ready until Monday. Dean told them that Ryan had a dentist appointment and that was the only way we had to transport him. After getting to the service departments managers’- manager (you always have to go to the top!) we were told that they would pull a fuel pump off of a vehicle in the yard and try and have the van ready by 2:00p.m., in time for his Dentist appointment. After pulling the gas tank and fuel pump, they realized with the modifications that had been made to the van (lowering the floor by 6”s, which necessitated a smaller gas tank) that the parts that they were going to order wouldn’t have worked anyway. They had the right parts on hand, did the best they could; but we didn’t get the van until about 3:30p.m. – to late for the dentist appointment, but in time for a concert later that evening. Murphy’s Law -- we can be home for several days but when transportation is not available, we have all sorts of commitments or activities planned!!

We had purchased tickets earlier in the month to a “country/western” concert which was going to take place at the Farmington Civic Center. We got to the civic center and found a “rowdy” crowd. Much to our astonishment, we learned that alcohol is allowed in the civic center. I guess we are very sheltered or pretty naive!! After we took our seats we begin to feel really uncomfortable and decided that that is not where we wanted to be, so we went to the office and asked for our money back. The management wasn’t too excited to give us our money back, until the producer of the event came hurriedly in and asked for “female backup” as there was a domestic problem and he needed help. While the lady was trying to decide whether to give us our money back or not, the producer came back thru the office and said that they needed to call for police backup, “there was a guy bleeding in the bathroom and things were getting out of control!” The management clerk looked at us and gladly refunded our money. As we were leaving the Farmington Police were on their way in and commented as to how they wished that the Civic Center would not allow alcohol in the area. All of the plays or concerts we have been to at the Civic Center have been very good, with decent crowds; but from now on, we will investigate a little more as to what type of event is taking place.

Saturday night we had a little better experience. The Piedra Vista (PV) High School Drama Department was putting on “The Miracle Worker – the Helen Keller Story.” The crowd was a little more to our liking!! And the play was excellent. The PV Drama Department does a great job. Ryan was able to see some of his old teachers too.

He is doing well, still struggling with “passing out.” We still can’t figure out what is causing the blackouts. In fact this morning, he passed out and had a hard time coming out of it, even when we got him in bed. We are to go back to Craig Hospital in March or April, but I don’t know if we can wait that long to see a specialist. I feel that we need to get a second opinion as to his diagnosis. I have contacted a couple of resources, trying to figure out what to do. It is difficult to know – when I’m not even sure what I’m talking about!!

We continue to look for guidance. We are grateful for the blessings that we have received thus far. I received an e-mail from one of the new friends that we made at Craig. She gave us an update on her son, who had just had is fifth surgery and re-fractured his collar bone while transferring him to his shower chair. He has been in the hospital for nine months. We are so grateful that Ryan didn’t have any broken bones or any other complications to overcome. Sorry to say, lots of hearts ache in this world; as hard as this is, we can always find others that have more difficult trials than we have. We pray for our friends at Craig and other friends and family who are struggling with their own set of troubles.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Doctors

It was fun to see Lisa in Rexburg, but it was tough being there and seeing all of Ryan’s friends and Ryan not able to be involved; he has associated with some really fine young men and women and made some lasting relationships over the years. Lisa played in a volleyball tournament while I was there. She played in the same gym that Ryan was hurt in – pretty tough!! Ryan was “daydreaming” this morning and I asked him what he was thinking. He said, “Memories.” I asked, “When you were young, high school days or what?” He said, “College!” I told him that I hoped come May, he would be able to create more college memories. It will be fun for him to get back into school and have the association with his friends, albeit very different and lots of obstacles to overcome.

He is feeling pretty well. We haven’t had to suction his lungs for a couple of weeks – which means that his lungs are staying clear (knock on wood!) though his spasms have increased. This injury is so bizarre!! The spasms occur mostly in the afternoons and evenings; which makes us wonder what is different about the afternoons and evenings!! We try to track any changes he has, eating habits, sleeping habits, med changes, etc., to see if that has any impact on his system – we can’t figure it out – so we just deal with it.

We are still dealing with home health care services. The primary care nurse that has been here since Ryan came home gave notice that she is leaving the company. I asked who was going to take her place, since only one other nurse is trained, she said it would be a nurse who will work out of the office, she doesn’t do “hands on” care!! I wonder how that is going to work!! I don’t see how she will be able to care for Ryan from her desk!! I spoke with our case manager; she isn’t sure how that will work either – just another hurdle.

We received a letter from Medicaid notifying us of our “state selected” Primary Care Physician (PCP). I didn’t know who this doctor was, so I called Medicaid to change the PCP to Ryan’s new Rehab doctor. I was told that she couldn’t be a PCP as she is registered with the State of New Mexico as a physiatrist so I needed to choose another primary doctor. I opted for our family doctor, Dr. C, which has been our doctor for 20 years. When I was home in July, I spoke with our doctor to get the ball rolling on Ryan’s care when we came home in September. He is the one that said we would be the pioneers for home vents in Farmington. Because a PCP has to initiate any medical care for a patient, all other physicians have to have a referral, we made an appointment with Dr. C fearing that we would run into a problem with Ryan’s care by having more than one doctor involved as a “primary” doctor. I had told our insurance case manager earlier in the day that I would like to hear a knock on our door and when the door opens those on the other side would say, “we are here to help” and mean it!! Dr. C did just that!! He said that he would work with Ryan’s Rehab doctor and make this as simple as possible. What a relief!! No wonder there is no money for Medicaid and Medicare, it seems that there are eight people between the patient and his/her doctor!!

We are looking forward to Thanksgiving and seeing some of our family, although we are having a hard time getting into the “holiday” spirit. Geralyn and Keith and their kids are going to come and “do” Thanksgiving for us and all of our kids will be here!!

We are so grateful for all our blessings. The rental townhouse that we are living is near the apartment we lived in when we first moved to Farmington. When I run errands, I usually drive by that apartment. The other day as I was driving by the old apartment, I was reminiscing about the last 20 years of my life and what I had accomplished, if anything. I felt like I hadn’t accomplished much, back in the same neighborhood – starting all over, spent a lot of my life working – and then I realized, that we have four beautiful children who are, loving, kind, hard working, happy and have strong testimonies of our Savior, Jesus Christ. What more could a person want??

We are so grateful for our blessings. We continue to pray for improvement in Ryan’s health and to be able to recognize and pursue the doors that open up for us. We are truly grateful for all our friends and family – we couldn’t do this with out your encouragement and love.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Because They Are Many

We are making a little headway with the caregivers. We have had the same people come four days in a row – yeah!! They have also been successful in getting Ryan ready in less than two hours. When we met with our doctor, she told the caregivers (who were taking between two and one-half and three hours to get him ready) that it shouldn’t take anymore than one and a-half to two hours – we are hoping that things continue to improve.

We were getting Ryan ready for bed the other night and Ryan said, “Mom, I have something to tell you, but you can’t get upset.” I took a deep breath and said, “Ok, what.” He then went on to tell us that Monday morning when the head nurse brought in a new aide, the new aide almost rolled him off of the bed. When she turned him to put the sling under him his head and shoulder fell off the side of the bed. It scared her and then she apologized to Ryan!! Ok, so we hope things continue to improve!!!

We continue to be amazed that these people have gone thru school and training, yet we uneducated amateurs know more than they do. I went to a “transfer” training class that was sponsored by the company who is providing the homecare and was surprised how little the physical therapist who was teaching the class knew. They scheduled the class primarily to train caregivers of Ryan. I was invited to attend and went solely as an observer. But, when the teacher was showing incorrect positioning and application I could not bite my tongue any longer – knowing that they were going to be using the training for Ryan. We are going to get there, it is just taking a little longer than I would like!!

Lisa has been trying to talk me into going to Rexburg for her birthday, which is Friday. I told Lisa I didn’t think it would be possible for me to get up there. I took Lisa up to school in June and then saw her for one day in August, before she came to Farmington and helped Michelle move us. Ryan has insisted that I go and so he had Dean “kick” me out!! If the truth were known, I am looking forward to seeing Lisa, but I feel so guilty that Ryan isn’t able to go. I feel like we have “accepted” this new life, but it is so hard to see him unable to be involved in the day to day life of a college kid, like he used to be.

Although it is hard to see him in this situation, he gives us strength to keep going. He thanks his Heavenly Father everyday for the blessings he has “because they are many.” He is amazing; he is going to surprise us all.

The new Branch Presidency, of the Singles Branch here in Farmington, came by tonight to visit Ryan and invite him to their meetings and activities. We have known the Branch President for years – he is a wonderful person. All of them have kids Ryan’s age and knew him while he was still in high school. It was also nice to catch up on all the happenings with the young kids in the area.

We are so grateful to all who continue to help us. We are so blessed to have so many friends and family, your love and support is immeasurable. We love you all.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

P.S. I know that Dean will take good care of him. I will try and call only once per day!!

Patience

We hope Ryan makes it in spite of his parents!! I was giving Ryan a breathing treatment the other day. The machine we use is portable so we move it to wherever he is. He was watching TV, sitting right next to Dean’s chair. I plugged the machine in, attached the nebulizer chamber to the flex tube which is directly connected to his trach. I reached over to get a quad pad to support the nebulizer and my foot got caught in the hose which delivers the air from the machine to his trach. I fell back on Dean’s chair and looked up, hoping I hadn’t pulled the trach completely out of his neck. Luckily, the nebulizer chamber just pulled away from the flex tubing – he wasn’t getting any air, but the trach was still in his throat. He is so patient, I said, “Ryan, I am so sorry, did that hurt.” He replied, “It’s OK!”

We are still trying to find things to do in Farmington. He is tired of going to the movie theatre, he hasn’t learned to like to shop – so the mall is out, Wal-mart is a fiasco most of the time, the weather has turned cold enough – going for a walk isn’t an option. We are going to start reading a couple of books this week, he is working on the computer, he looked up options on the internet for internet college classes – I hope we can finalize some of that this week. Needless to say, these four walls are starting to close in on us.

We are trying to learn to communicate better. He said, “Mom, you taught us to be independent, I have been for 23 years, I am having a hard time becoming totally dependent.” It is so hard for us as well; we can’t “fix” any of it – like parents do.

We continue to pray for direction in our lives. We also continue to pray that Ryan will see some progress in his abilities to breathe and walk again. We are so grateful for the continued love and support, especially the fasting and prayers on Ryan’s behalf.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Rehab

Ryan had an appointment with New Mexico Vocational Rehab (NMVR) on Monday. He was hoping that NMVR would assist him in getting a job, but after discussing Ryan’s goals, it was determined that getting back into school should be the main focus. Mr. VocRehab asked Ryan what he would need in order to get back into school. Ryan replied with, “24/7 care, lap top, lap top tray for wheelchair, tuition, and books.” Mr. VocRehab responded with, “Well, we can’t provide 24/7 care, there are other programs that could help with that. The school should provide a computer for you to work with and you need to fill out paper work for a Pell Grant for tuition and books.” At that point I thought, so what WILL this program assist with. Mr. VocRehab then turned to Dean and I and asked who was providing for his care right now and if we couldn’t get any help what options did we have. Dean replied, “The family or a nursing home.” I could see the light bulb go on in Mr. VocRehab’s head. He than said, “That is our answer; Ryan can live in a nursing home while he is in school.” At that point in the discussion Ryan was doing a weight shift, as he looked at the ceiling he asked Mr. VocRehab, “Would you want to live in a nursing home.” Without hesitation Mr. VocRehab replied, “No, not even when I am old.” Ryan then said, “Then why would you think I would want to live in one at age 23?” I was having a hard time sitting there at that point in the discussion. Dean interjected, “A nursing home is not an option, so lets move on to the next option.”

Needless to say, we weren’t getting very far. I finally told him that I wanted to be candid with him and told him that in the 40 minutes we had been sitting there he had said, “I or We can’t” three times more than he had said “I or We can.” I then point to his awards and certifications on the wall behind him and noted that he was a Certified Rehab Council and that we had paid taxes for many many years in the State of New Mexico, we had enough as parents to worry about just trying to adjust to this injury and keep Ryan healthy and that we would rely on his professional education and expertise to “look outside the box” and assist us in finding the best resources available to Ryan.

We finally made some headway and hopefully we will be back in his office in a couple of weeks to discuss legitimate options. In the meantime, we will delve into available resource thru the NMVR department, so we can get Ryan back in school.

Ryan is limited somewhat in what he can do for employment so that his Medicaid benefits are not affected. So, our research continues. If we had the time or the energy we could write a book on how to get thru the bureaucracy; although, after thinking about it, what a boring read!!!

Ryan was hurting last night. He had the burning, heaving, buried-in-sand feeling that he has described before. Thankfully, he hasn’t had that in awhile. We don’t know what causes those feelings, but they are sure painful for him.

The Broncos won Sunday. So life is good!! Ryan finally got to watch the game today. Dean records them for him so he can keep up with “his” team. With all of the memorabilia and souvenirs he received while in Denver it would be awesome if they could get to the super bowl. I know, those that are not Bronco fans can’t see that happening!!

Ryan’s home teachers came by to see him tonight, which gave him a “boost.” His home teacher is also his dentist and he is real upbeat and positive about Ryan and his progress. He and his partner told Ryan that “his positive attitude” can be healing, the mind is a powerful tool and staying positive will aid in his progress. Although he has challenging days most of the time he is very positive and up beat. He is truly a remarkable young man. As he once told us, while speaking of his accident, “You couldn’t handle it, but I can.”

We want to again express our sincere appreciate of the love, support, food, kind words, hugs, e-mails, cards, and so much more. We couldn’t do this with out your help.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

The Bed Arrives

De Bed, de Bed! We received the overlay for Ryan’s bed! The overlay or mattress was scheduled to be delivered on Friday for several weeks. We received a call from the company that ordered it early Friday morning letting us know that they had tried to contact the vendor of the overlay in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida since early Wednesday without any luck. With the recent hurricane in that area they thought that their phones may be out, and wanted to let us know that the overlay probably wouldn’t be delivered as scheduled. We had looked so forward to finally getting Ryan’s bed set up so that he could “stretch” out without hitting the footboard. Late Friday afternoon, the call came that the overlay had just been dropped at the supply office here in Farmington and they would like to deliver it “right away!” Yeah! The overlay was delivered about 4:30 pm and the young man that delivered it helped Dean get the bed frame from the garage to Ryan’s room; which was a feat in itself. The frame was heavy! I asked Dean how much it weighted he said, “A bunch, it about killed both of us getting it in here!” Ryan and I had gone to the movie, so we missed the circus!! This bed is long enough that Ryan can sleep on his back with his legs stretched out and it is a little bit wider than the bed he had been sleeping on. He had a great nights’ sleep Friday night!! Oh yeah, I can now finish decorating his room, something I know he has laid awake at nights fretting about!!

With the bed here, the next thing is to get the rest of the supplies ordered and all of his supplies and meds on a shipment/delivery schedule; I then will feel like we are finally settled in.

We made it to Albuquerque and back without any surprises or worries. The caregivers were gracious enough to come an hour and a-half early to get Ryan up and going so that we could be on the road around 10:00am. We actually didn’t leave until 11:00 am; Ryan wanted to stop and get donuts for breakfast. He is still a college kid, junk food is the best! Actually, we enjoyed the donuts too. This was the fist “road trip” we have made since we have been home. Ryan did real well. Albuquerque is a three hour drive from Farmington, we anticipated that we would need to stop a couple of times, but we only stopped once. I sat in the back so that I could help him if he needed anything. Ryan needed to have a breathing treatment; as we were driving along, I started to disconnect the vent tubing to insert the nebulizer – at that moment we hit a bump in the road and I asked Ryan if he thought I could make the change while driving or did he think we needed to pull over. Having experienced me yanking on his trach when giving him a breathing treatment while sitting stationary in the living room he said, “dad, pull over please” and then smiled up at me!” That was our only stop!!

It was so nice to go to the temple. Our oldest son Scott and his wife Becky met us there; it was so good to see them. As we were waiting for the session to start, I was thinking that with all the changes in our lives, it is so nice that the Gospel of Jesus Christ doesn’t change; whether in Rexburg, Idaho Falls, Denver or Farmington we can count on constancy. Ryan was welcomed with open arms. Because my mom and dad served in this Temple for several years we know quiet a few of the temple workers and many we have known since living in New Mexico in Grants, Gallup or Farmington. Ryan loves to go to the Temple. When living in Idaho Falls or Provo he would go every week, because of the close proximity of the temples in those areas.

When we walked in the door, we met some of our friends from Farmington. Bro. Taylor has been in a wheelchair for years, although he hadn’t met Ryan he knew of him and Ryan remembered seeing Bro. Taylor at the church on different occasions throughout the years. After visiting a bit, he told Ryan, “I can’t do much with my hands, that is the nice thing about the Temple, we do what we can and the Lord accepts it and does the rest.” I am sorry to say, that it has taken this trial for us to realize that we are all sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who created us and loves us. It doesn’t matter our station in life, what imperfections we may have, some more noticeable than others, the Lord loves each of us unconditionally.

After such a busy day yesterday, Ryan spoke in Sacrament Meeting today. He referenced Alma 34 in the Book of Mormon and spoke about not procrastinating the day of our repentance that we should work out our salvation with God now. We are truly blessed to have him in our lives. Ryan has taught us so much over the years, but more so in the last couple of months. He loves the Lord and gives thanks each day to Him for the blessings that he has in his life. We are so grateful for his testimony.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Not Contagious

Our challenges with Ryan’s care givers are just that, challenges!! We had no shows Monday and Tuesday as well as Saturday and Sunday last week. I received a call from the CEO of the company on Tuesday informing us that they wanted to do the job and felt like they would do a great job for us. She apologized for what happened over the weekend and then I let her know that she had two more no shows – she was a little embarrassed. She wants to send in ALL of her nurses to be trained so that they don’t run into those problems again. She said that she had ten or twelve nurses she wanted to train!! My mouth dropped open, I express my concerns about Ryan’s psychological and emotional state right now being that we have been home over a month and it seems that we are just starting from scratch. Having all those nurses around would be overwhelming for a healthy person. I suggested that they come in and Dean and I would walk thru all the steps with them. She felt like his care was too individualized so Ryan would always need to be involved. She is at a conference in Las Vegas this week which will give us all some time to figure out what is in Ryan’s best interests.

Ryan started CES Institute classes this week. He really enjoyed getting back in the classroom. He also enjoyed meeting some kids more his age; most had just graduated from high school this past year so they were a few years’ young than him. When the teacher introduced Ryan he asked him if he had anything to say about his injury, Ryan replied, “it’s not contagious!” That broke the ice. The teacher then asked if any one had any fears or concerns. One of the kids asked how he was injured and Ryan briefly told them the story. It is nice for him to start getting involved with things again.

Ryan tried out the voice activated software today. All in all, it went quite well. He tried the same software at Craig Hospital but didn’t have much luck in getting it to work. The software we have came with a headpiece which has a microphone. With the microphone right next to his mouth, he was able to get better voice recognition; where as at Craig he was sitting about two feet away from the microphone and it was picking up all the background noise (ventilator, the humming florescent lights, five assistants in the room, etc. etc.). He played with it for about two hours and was able to get around pretty good, after he went thru the tutorial. He then surfed the net and played with his e-mail site. We would love to hear from anyone with any experience with this type of software. Ryan hasn’t really done much with computers over the years; he preferred the manual labor side of things, roofing, construction, etc. We are hoping this is a new beginning for him. I keep telling him that he can get into the architectural business and design roofs and houses. Well see!

Our Stake has a temple day Saturday at the Albuquerque Temple. Ryan wants to try and go. We are excited, although we are a bit apprehensive to make the journey. Ryan’s longest ride in our van so far has been 20 minutes or so; he did take longer trips while in Denver. Then, not to mention all the “stuff” that we will need to take, a second vent, portable lift, slide boards for transfers and a foam mattress in the event we have to stay over night, breathing treatment equipment, meds, suction equipment, supplies for 24/48 hours (just in case), and the list goes on. We do have a TV in the van so hopefully that will help pass the time for him. We also have AC and DC hookups in the back for his chair, vent, suction machine and breathing equipment. Hopefully there won’t be too much road work along the way. Since we have been transporting Ryan, we have become well aware of the potholes, the utility access ports, as well as uneven payment. Each time we hit a bump, his head “bobbles” to-and-fro! As his neck muscles get stronger, it is getting easier for him.

We are so grateful to all of you for you help since we have been home. The wonderful meals, the help with house work, cookies, candies, etc. etc. No wonder Ryan had a cavity!! One of our dear friends came and got the foot rests off of his shower chair to add about 4 or 5 inches to it – everything has to be longer! All we do is mention a need and we have people here ready to take care of whatever. We love you all and so enjoy all of your e-mails, letters, cards, notes, etc.

Love, Dean, Terry and Ryan

Hot

It has been such beautiful weather here in Farmington. We love the fall. We have learned that if Ryan is on the heated humidifier at night, he doesn’t get as cold during the day. The air mattress that he is on right now (the longer one should be here Friday!) has heated air pumped thru the cells, but it doesn’t require a mattress pad or a fitted sheet, it has a synthetic cover with a sheet overlay, so it can get a little cool by morning. The humidifier helps to keep his lungs heated, which seems to help him stay a little warmer. When visitors stop by they can’t believe how “hot” our house is – Ryan is sitting under a blanket and the rest of us are fanning ourselves. I don’t know what we are going to do when it gets to be winter.

We are still struggling with caregivers. We had a meeting with the CEO of the home healthcare company that we are using. We knew that this was going to be a challenge, but I guess we didn’t realize that it was going to be a major ordeal. The CEO acknowledged that Ryan was a very high maintenance and high ranked patient. They are scheduling nursing staff that are unable both physically and medically to care for him; lifting his arm by his index finger, not being able to take care of his personal needs, etc.. We have had to step in daily and help or complete his care. I had told Ryan while we were in Denver that we would do everything we could to have professional caretakers provide his daily care in an effort to preserve his dignity.

Our meeting included our primary physician, the home healthcare company, as well as the executive director of the firm that will manage the Disabled and Elderly Waiver Program which we have been working so hard to get. The CEO from the home healthcare company came bearing gifts; a two week notice to find another company to provide care!! Our problem is that her company is the only game in town licensed or registered with the State of NM to provide care for the D&E Waiver program. In short, our physician matter-of-factly explained that the resignation was unacceptable and that they needed to provide nurses that were qualified and trained properly. In the end, we set some goals for all parties to try to achieve.

Friday night, after our meeting, we had a surprise visit from Ryan’s bishop from Denver, Bishop Hatch and his family. They were traveling thru from Denver to Phoenix; we were so grateful to them for taking the time out of there very busy schedule to drive a few extra miles to come and see Ryan. We had a nice visit and caught up on the activities of the ward and our new found friends in Denver.

While they were here, Bishop Hatch shared a story with us that we would like to share. Understandably, we don’t share everything on the Blog site, a lot of the “happenings” are too close to our hearts, but this story was such a help for Ryan this weekend. While we were in Denver, Ryan was able to assist with the blessing of the Sacrament during one of the Sacrament meetings. With the challenges of a ventilator, Ryan wanted to articulate the Sacrament prayer correctly and with meaning. Unbeknownst to Ryan or any of us, his deliverance of the prayer had an impact on one of the members of that ward; a young man had a “change-of-heart” and wants to better his life and get to know his Savior, Jesus Christ.

Saturday morning arrived and our phone rang at 7:00am; the home health agency was on the line informing us that the nurse they had scheduled was sick and they didn’t have any other staff to send over. As anyone can imagine, this injury has been quite devastating in all aspects of his life, but Ryan has become very discouraged with the process of finding caregivers; he has come to think that there is not anyone out there that can take care of him or wants too. He was hoping that we could find nurses to take care of his personal needs and not have to rely on his mom.

Ryan was visibly upset. As we were getting him ready for his shower, he just sobbed and said again and again, “This isn’t me.” Thru my tears I tried to encourage him and help him see beyond the present. I told him that maybe his “mission” in this life was to help people like the young man in the Denver ward to “come unto Christ.” I told him that I know that this doesn’t help but, “Heavenly Father made moms to take care of their children and Dads’ and my job is to keep you as healthy as possible. We have to get past the “physical” part of this injury and if we couldn’t get the health care people we needed, Dad and I would take on that responsibility and hopefully keep him well, his job was to move forward past all of this, work on getting back in school, getting a job, and make a difference in his life as well as someone else’s life.”

Today was the same story; we received a call that no one would be here from the home health care agency. I told Ryan that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else! Hopefully, we can see beyond the “physical” aspects of this injury and move on. I have said that the mental, psychological and emotional side of this injury is gigantic in comparison to the physical.

Meredith was also here this weekend; Ryan enjoyed her company, but they have decided to “take a break.” I keep wondering what more he can handle??

I have been looking thru the internet into any “medical advancements” which have been made with spinal cord injuries, one of which is electrical activation to the diaphragm to stimulate breathing. I told Ryan that I had found a treatment we may be interested in and wondered if he would be willing to participate in a study? He asked for more details, when I was finished telling him about the procedure he said, “I don’t think so, I am going to breathe on my own soon.” Faith….. what can I say other than he is such an awesome kid – hopefully he can handle what comes his way!

Our faith continues to grow and develop. We remain steadfast in the hope and continue to pray that Ryan will be able to breathe on his own.

We love you all.

Dean, Terry and Ryan

The Dentist

We have had a busy week and it is only Wednesday!! Ryan had a very difficult day Sunday and then Monday he got to go to the dentist. Over the years I have said that I would rather have a baby than go to the dentist! No, I am not going to have another baby, nor go to the dentist!!

The dentist we went to has a new office and each exam room has state-of-the-art equipment. They had him maneuver his chair into a room with the equipment which takes a panoramic x-ray of the teeth. We were able to take the headrest off of his chair and the dentist held Ryan’s head as he rested his chin on a small platform and held a “mouth” stick with his teeth for support. They raised the x-ray equipment so it would clear his shoulders and then turned it on and it circled around his head. The dentist said that the equipment was made for people in wheelchairs and that it was nice to see that it actually worked. After the x-ray, it was a tight squeeze to get him into an exam room with his chair; he drove it in -- just centimeters away from the counter and the stationary dental exam chair. He impressed everyone with his driving skills!! He reclined his chair and they moved an arm with about a 10 x 14(?) inch screen on it right in front of him and started a movie!! I just got the drill when I went! He has taken real good care of his teeth; he had one small cavity so we get to go back next week.

Our new satellite system came with DVR (digital video recording). Ryan didn’t see the Broncos play Sunday so he had Dean program the satellite to record the game and he watched it after his dentist appointment. Technology is so amazing! The Broncos won so it made the visit to the dentist’s office a distant memory.

We did learn something new this week. Even though Ryan’s driving skills are almost flawless, he can’t drink and drive!! He doesn’t drink many carbonated drinks, but he had a Dr. Pepper for dinner Monday night and then drove from the kitchen in to watch TV. As he was “sipping & puffing” he hiccupped and veered off to the right and almost ran into his therapy table. We all thought that he had passed out or something was drastically wrong when he said, “I can’t drink pop and drive!!” Each sip or puff will turn or move the chair, whether it is deliberate or accidental!

Yesterday he got to go to the doctor’s office and have his trach tube and catheter changed. Each month or so he will have to make a visit to the doctor’s office to have these procedures done. Changing the trach tube is quiet painful so he doesn’t look forward to that at all. Dean and I were trained to change out both the trach and catheter, but I feel more comfortable letting the doctor do it. If he is doesn’t talk himself into relaxing, he will tense up the muscles in his neck and close the opening to the trachea so it can take several seconds to make the change; then, if something were to go wrong, he wouldn’t have anyway to get air – better to be in the doctor’s office.

Last night we had another thunder and lightening storm. We all slept much better knowing that we had a generator and surge protectors on the vents and all of the battery chargers. Monday night for Family Home Evening, Michelle gave a lesson on 72-Prepardness Kits. She started each of our families with some supplies in the event we needed to leave the house or the area in a hurry. We have done these over the years but it was good to have a refresher. With Ryan’s injury and all the life support “baggage” he now has to have, we are looking at this a little differently. Over the next few days I began to think of all the things that we would need to have and what kind of disasters could possibly occur that would require us to evacuate; one of which would be a fire. I began to wonder how we would move Ryan contemplating all of the different scenarios that could possibly occur. Again, I needed some sleep and finally came to the conclusion that if we do everything possible, the Lord will do the rest. I recalled the scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants.

I tell you these things because of your prayers; wherefore, treasure up wisdom in your bosoms… if ye are prepared ye shall not fear.

D&C 38:30

Each day we try to put ourselves in the Lord’s hands and learn what we can thru this trail. We are truly depending on Him to help us get thru each day.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Scheduling

Well, we are learning that we still have good days and bad days. Ryan has had a couple of really "hard" days; more emotional, mental and psychological than physical. He is struggling to try and figure out what his purpose in life is. It is sometimes difficult to stay positive for him; all I want to do is cry!!

He knows that he is not alone in this, and we all know that there is a reason for our trial. We continue to hope and pray that we will have the strength to continue thru the hard days.

We are trying to help the caregivers get trained to take care of Ryan. We are limited to one company in town as they are the only ones that are approved by the State of NM to work with the Disable and Elder Waiver Program. The nurse that is taking the lead is struggling in training the other nurses as she is somewhat apprehensive in dealing with a patient on a trach. Michelle, Ryan's younger sister, has taken the lead in "helping" the caregivers become familiar with the trach, the vent, the lift, the wheelchair, how to dress Ryan, etc. etc. Friday she had a meeting with the head nurse and one other nurse, she let them know how much we appreciate what they have done and what they are trying to do; then very diplomatically informed them that they need to take the care to the next level, "..since this is 'our' Ryan that we are dealing with." She helped them understand that their prior experience with fragile infants was very helpful, but gaining knowledge of all aspects of SCI's as well as getting to know Ryan and his needs was now their priority and things needed to be done a certain way. Ryan and I were in another room, on the therapy mat which Grandpa built, and we could overhear some of what Michelle was discussing with the nurses. At one point Ryan asked me, "Do you think they know that she is only 20 years old?" I said, "The way she is handling this, I don't believe so." I am so grateful to her for stepping up and taking the lead on some of this stuff. I am finding that I am too emotionally attached and that I just get upset or cry!! I think with Michelle's help we are on the right track.

Each year the San Juan Quilters Guild has a quilt show to display their many talents; I love to see the creativity with colors and machine or hand stitching. It is really a beautiful display of art and talent. I asked Ryan if he wanted to go and see the show. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow then told me that I hadn't made him aware of the schedule in enough time so he wasn't able to go. He said that he needed time to prepare, surely, I could appreciate the need to plan for such an event. He said that he wouldn’t really enjoy the show being that he hadn't had time to look forward in anticipation of it. He reminded me that we had planned three weeks in advance for the Broncos game, "And look what great fun we had." I told him that I would put it on his calendar for next year!!! He did appease me and go to the Piedra Vista girls' volleyball game last night!

We will endeavor to remain strong and steadfast in helping Ryan to endure this trial. This week we are going to get the computer up and running for him; hopefully that will uplift his spirits. We are also awaiting a vocational rehab schedule and plan which will hopefully help get him active in the community. We look to having more good days!!

We continue to be blessed with love and support which helps to keep us going. I reminded Ryan today of the many many prayers from our friends and family on his behalf and that he is not alone in this. We can't thank each of you enough for all that has been done thru e-mails, letters, visits, kind words, hugs, and so many many other ways.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

What Muffins?

Ryan seems to be getting stronger and stronger each day. People who haven’t seen him since the accident say that he “looks really good.” I have always known that, but hey, I’m just the mom!! He does look good, his skin color is good and we think he has put on a little weight; we don’t know for sure because we don’t have anyway of weighing him. Dean said that we could go down to Mayflower and weight him – they would have the only scale big enough in town to put his chair on, but that scale is probably too big!! We will have to figure something out.

Michelle, Ryan’s sister, is really good about keeping Ryan busy and doing things. She gets him to go to Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, as well as the movies. Our little community is great about bring in “cultural” events, Michelle purchase tickets for all of us to go and see Michael Flatley’s “Lord of the Dance.” During the days prior to the event, Michelle would ask Ryan if he was excited to go, he would always respond, “I am so excited, I can hardly wait – then smirk at her!” After it was all said and done, he really enjoyed the show – for that matter, we all did.

Since we have become intimately aware of the need for disability parking, access, seating, etc. it is amazing how far businesses, public buildings, etc. have come, yet how much more could be done. Most places have met the letter of the law as far as access, but not the spirit of the law. Believe me, we never paid any mind to the needs of the disabled until May 4th!! At the Farmington Civic Center, they have wheelchair seating, but just that. All those in wheelchairs are lined up in a row, but those who accompany them have to sit elsewhere. Because Ryan is on the vent, I was nervous to leave him sitting alone – our seats where up a few steps right behind him but I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hear the vent if it started “chirping!” I hung at his side long enough that they brought me a chair to sit next to him!!! Moms!!

Today Ryan had an appointment with the New Mexico Vocational Rehabilitation Office. He is hoping to find a job for two or three hours a day, as well as some computer training with a mouth stick or voice recognition software to help him get ready to go back to school. People are amazed at how well he can maneuver his “big” chair in confined office spaces. We went into a small waiting room and his chair took up half of the room. We could hear the lady he was going to meet with move chairs around in her office so Ryan could get in. When we went down the hall, he effortlessly “puffed” his way thru the snug doorway and into her very tight office.

Debra went thru several forms telling Ryan all of his “rights and responsibilities” and then started asking the informative questions such as birth date, social security number, disability diagnosis, etc. etc.. One of the questions she asked was if Ryan was a veteran. Ryan replied, “Yes.” Debra looked at him and said, “I have been doing this too long, I know better, you are not old enough to be a veteran.” He laughed and said, “Ok, No.” A little while later she told Ryan that her office would be asking some of the same questions over and over and he replied, “I still am not a veteran!” She chuckled. After Ryan and Dean left to go to the van, I stayed behind to get some copies Debra had to make for us. She looked at me and said, “You have got a great kid there!” I am continually amazed at how he can connect with people of all ages and have such an influence on them.

We are still working thru caregivers. Ryan had a real nice girl, I say girl, she is a lot younger than me but older than Ryan! She was really good and she liked the Broncos – so they had lots to talk about! She told Ryan Monday that she was going to have to have some surgery and would be out about six weeks, so her boss would be sending someone else in to train. So tomorrow morning, Ryan will get to meet someone new. I think this along with dealing with Medicaid and the NM Disable and Elderly Waiver are going to be the biggest challenges. We will continue on and hopefully take more steps forward than backwards.

Dean and I take turns turning Ryan during the night. I take the early shift -- 1:30 am to 3:00 am – depending on what time he goes to bed and then Dean takes the later shift – 4:30 am to 6:00 am. These are the scheduled turns, which doesn’t include any other problems he may have during the night. The last several nights when I go in to turn him, he is hungry and wants to eat three (!) carrots dipped in Ranch dressing. Last night when I got in there, he asked if I would make the muffins that I used to make. I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about, I don’t remember making muffins!! He said they had nuts in them and maybe bran or something – or maybe they were oatmeal with shredded carrots. We couldn’t figure it out, so this morning I made him Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Pecan Muffins (you can’t go wrong with chocolate chips!) – they weren’t what he remembered, but he liked them. At lunch we asked Michelle if she remembered the muffins “I used to make” she couldn’t remember either. We told Ryan he must have had some really great dreams!!!

I think we left Denver just in time. We heard that they had quite a bit of snow and lots of road closures. Winter will be in Farmington before we know it. One of the symptoms of spinal cord injuries is feeling cold or hot. Ryan has been very cold the last couple of days, to the point that his chin quivers but his body temperature is in the normal range. We are keeping the house a little warmer than usual; he will ask for blankets to cover him while Dean and I are sweating!! I hope we have a normal winter here in Farmington, which for us are pretty mild. Hopefully, it won’t be too bad on him.

We hope and pray Ryan will continue to progress and regain as much stamina as possible. Tonight he was in tears, he wants so bad to go back to school and be with his friends; then we read the e-mails from his wonderful mission President, wonderful former Bishop and lots of friends who say just the right thing to help him get past the very few down moments he has. We so appreciate your kind words, love and support.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

According to Our Faith

We have had a busy couple of days, but it doesn’t seem like we ever get anything done. Today I got ready for church and couldn’t find my “winter” church shoes. Since we have been in Denver, I have been able to wear sandals. It rained most of the night and turned a little cold here so I needed enclosed shoes; they’re all in boxes in the garage – but which one!! I try to unpack at least one box a day if not two, but the last couple of days I haven’t been able to get to any.

I keep thinking that we are going to get on a schedule, but not yet. Ryan’s schedule depends on how he feels. Tristen, our grandson, has had a little cold, I think Ryan may have caught a little of that. All-in-all, he is doing really well although Sunday’s are hard on him because he doesn’t get to rest much. He gets up at 9:00 and our meetings start at 1:00 pm; we don’t get home until 4:30 – which makes for a long to day. When we got home he asked what was for dinner, I told him we were having roast and potatoes but it would take about 30 minutes to get ready. By the time I got it ready he was sound asleep, I woke him but he said he would rather sleep!! After he woke up and ate, some friends came by; which is always nice. We so appreciate the love and support we have been given.

Friday, we had a very nice visit with our cousin, Matt Billingslea. He was in town with the band that he is playing with and was able to take a little time to come by and see Ryan. It was nice to catch up with him. The last time we saw him was when Ryan received his Eagle Scout Award at age fifteen, so it was nice to visit and hear what all he has been doing.

Ryan was a good sport and went to a couple of high school ball games this week; the Piedra Vista girls’ volleyball team played Thursday night and the football team played Friday night. During the football game Dean asked him if it was like being in INVESCO Field; Ryan replied with a grin and a look of “yah, dad??”

Last night we had quite an “intense” thunder and lightening storm. The lightening lit up the sky and the thunder roared. I actually enjoy thunder and lightening, but being in a new home, it was a little unnerving. Ryan’s bathroom has two large corner windows and when the lightening would strike it would light up his entire room. About 12:30 a.m. I went into his room to close the bathroom door; he was awake, couldn’t sleep because of the storm. We talked for a minute about how loud it was and how different it was being in a new place. After I went back to bed, my mind started wandering and I woke Dean up to see if we were prepared with back-up batteries, for the vent, just in case the electricity went out. He said we had everything we needed for the vent, but not the air mattress on Ryan’s bed. We do have a twin mattress on hand in the event the air mattress goes flat, so we were somewhat prepared. My mind wouldn’t slow down and I got to thinking about the bedside vent that Ryan is on. The bedside vent has a humidifier which has wiring going thru the circuit to heat the mist as it flows thru the tubing. I thought, what if the house was hit by lightening and Ryan was electrocuted because of the wiring going thru his vent circuit – I have got to figure out how to turn my mind off!! Dean went in to check on Ryan about 4:00 a.m. because he couldn't sleep and found Ryan was still awake. They talked for a bit about “life,” some of our best talks are in the middle of the night – but we have got to get some sleep!! Tomorrow, we will get a small generator for the bed and a surge protector for the vent – maybe that will give us some peace of mind – and some rest!!!

Each day Ryan looks forward to getting the mail and checking the e-mail; it brightens his day to hear from each of you. We so appreciate all of your continued love and support. We do wish we could respond to each of you individually, but please know that we are so grateful to be loved by so many. Numerous people have offered to help in any way they can, most times we don’t even know what to ask for. We are taking one day, sometimes one moment, at a time and hopefully making good choices. As Ryan said prayers tonight, he asked that the Lord would bless us according to our faith. We continue to have faith and hope that Ryan will improve. We believe that the Lord’s will will be done and hope we are so in tune to know what that is and accept it. We hope and pray that the Lord will bless each of you.

Love,

Dean, Terry and Ryan

Ceilings

Thanks to Grandpa and Grandma, we finally got a bed, but the mattress came in and it is the wrong size!!! Things that used to seem so simple have become so complicated. We are hoping the new bed will be much more comfortable for Ryan; not only will it be long enough, but the head of the bed will raise to 40◦ - 50◦, which is critical for watching TV…not to mention keeping the airways in his lungs open!!

Geralyn and I met with the State Medicaid Office today and completed the next step in getting Ryan approved for the NM Disable and Elderly Waiver Program. Hopefully we are again on the right track to get Ryan’s needs met. After fifteen years of dealing with government entities, I am continually amazed at the “red tape” which the public has to go thru to get anything done. Thanks to our local State Representative, who has helped us get thru some of the paperwork more rapidly. It was also nice to have Geralyn there, as she has worked the system in Wyoming and knows a lot of the “particulars.”

Ryan has been called to be the Ward Prayer Coordinator for our Ward; which is, for those who don’t know, to make assignments for the opening and closing prayers for Sacrament Meeting. It is so nice to have a Bishop who listens to the spirit and comprehends that Ryan needs to be a part of things. As he was telling his grandparents about his new calling he commented that he was called to do that because, “I can’t hand out hymn books!!” Grandpa and Dean assured him that they could “hitch” a trailer to the back of his chair and he could do that too!! His positive and spontaneous sense of humor is so great.

Monday, we had to go to the hospital for blood gas tests; Ryan wanted to go out to lunch before he had to “give blood” so we went to Red Lobster, had a real nice lunch and found that their tables are high enough that he can actually pull-up underneath the table so he can sit as close as the rest of us. The little things we take for granted! As we got out of the van, the sidewalk was blocked so he wasn’t able to maneuver his chair up the handicapped ramp but rather had to “pop the curb!” Luckily, Dean was with us and was able to help him so that he didn’t “pop” another wheelie!! If he would have, he would have hit a huge rock. After we had ordered, Ryan asked if he could speak to the manager – we all looked at him and thought, Oh, no, what is he going to do. The manager came over and Ryan is so polite, he first told him that he always loved their food and he was glad that he could pull-up under the table, then asked him if he wouldn’t mind “making some improvements” to their handicap access. He continues to amaze me, his patience, his positive outlook and constructive mannerisms; we all could take note!!

As we were awaiting our food, he did a “weight shift” which he does about every twenty or thirty minutes. As he was reclining in his chair, he said matter-of-factly, “I know what I want to do for a career,” we were all very attentive awaiting the new revelation. We waited patiently and then he stated, “I want to be a Ceiling Consultant…I see most ceilings everywhere I go!!” We talked of the pros and cons and than all had a good laugh!!

We try to count our blessings thru this trial. We have become closer as a family, we have made wonderful new friends and acquaintances, we are learning patience, and most importantly we are trying to become closer to our Savior and truly understand his atoning sacrifice. After Meredith drove the five hours - 305 miles from Flagstaff this past weekend, she told Ryan that one of his blessings is that he doesn’t have to buy gas. We just need to look at the positive – she forgot we are in the gas business!!

Sincerely, we are so grateful for our blessings, some days we have to look real deep, but when we do we are richly blessed. May we all look a little deeper each day for the blessings that fill our lives.

With Love,
Dean, Terry and Ryan

Finding Help

It is good to be home, but we are experiencing reality!! Ryan’s caregiver resigned. Caring for Ryan is a “big” job and his caregiver wasn’t up to the challenge. We had heard from several patients after leaving Craig that they had to go thru two or three caregivers until they found one that worked for them. We were hoping that we would be able to “sing a different tune” but we are not exempt.

I spoke with my new found friend Laurie, Dan Leslie’s mom; she lived in Provo this summer trying to find good help for Dan. At the end of the summer semester, she felt like she had succeeded only to find when they returned, after the break, she was at square one again. I think this is going to be an ongoing challenge.

We were aware when we made the decision to come back to Farmington that this would be one of our biggest hurdles.

We weren’t able to make it to Salt Lake this weekend for Ryan’s mission reunion and General Conference. Ryan was quite sad about not being able to go. He loved his mission and made lifetime friendships with his mission companions. He was hoping to get to see some of them. Hopefully in the next couple of months he will be up to traveling and making the seven hour trip.

Since we weren’t able to get to Salt Lake, it was nice to be able to watch General Conference in our home; we were afraid that we weren’t’ going to be able too. We had a satellite installation date of October 10th, but Dean called the office here in town and was able to get the installation date moved to the 30th of September. The installer came out about 1:00 p.m. and was here until 4:30 p.m and still couldn’t get the signal, she called her boss and he came out and got it all set up, finishing up about 9:00 p.m. We told then that our “church” was going to be on TV this weekend and we would really appreciate it if they could get the satellite up and running. They were so kind and generous of their time to get it going.

We enjoyed conference and then Dean and Ryan went to the General Priesthood meeting Saturday night. Ryan came home quite depressed – I wondered what they had talked about!! It wasn’t the meeting, it was seeing a lot of his friends who are now married and are starting their families. He thinks about the future 24/7. We continue to hope and pray that we will know Gods’ will thru this trial.

Meredith was planning on meeting Ryan in Salt Lake for Conference, but since we weren’t able to go, she came to Farmington. She sure can brighten his day!! It was fun to see her and have her here for the weekend.

We had two new caregivers come in yesterday and today; we will see what tomorrow brings!! I feel like our front door is a revolving door. Everyone in Farmington is going to know what kind of a house keeper I am; I guess that is the least of my worries!! Maybe I will ask them to help!

May the Lord bless each of us as we strive to know and do His will. We are so grateful to you all for the visits, the food, the cards, the e-mails, the kind words and most especially the hugs.

Love,
Dean, Terry and Ryan

New Addresses

My mom asked me to post their new address information:

Griffin’s
4525 La Colina Court
Farmington, NM 87401

Ryan:
Dean:
Terry - Note that this has changed!! Mom's redmesa address will not be valid much longer.

Thank you all for your letters, love and support. Scott